Sandblog

Life, Death, or Death in life

2009-09-20T21:57:00.004-05:00

I recently finished a reread of The Second Coming by Walker Percy - the first reading was probably 7-8 years ago. I somewhat remembered the storyline, and also had some oft-used quotes from the book. I appreciate Percy's understanding of the human condition, and his ability to unpack it within characters and story. The 2 main characters are in process of great awakenings to a) how things truly are, and b) how things might look different. I thought I'd include some portions here...

"There was the cat. Sitting there in the sun with its needs satisfied, for whom one place was the same as any other place as long as it was sunny - no nonsense about old haunted patches of weeds in Mississippi or a brand-new life in a brand-new place in Carolina - the cat was exactly a hundred percent cat, no more no less. As for Will Barrett [main character], as for people nowadays - they were never a hundred percent themselves. They occupied a place uneasily and more or less successfully. More likely they were forty-seven percent themselves or rarely, as in the case of Einstein on the streetcar, three hundred percent. All too often these days they were two percent themselves, specters who hardly occupied a place at all. How can the great suck of self ever hope to be a fat cat dozing in the sun?
There was his diagnosis, then. A person nowadays is two percent himself. And to arrive at a diagnosis is already to have anticipated the cure: how to restore the ninety-eight percent?" (p 16)

"I made straight A's and flunked ordinary living." (p 93)

"One night after the war and during the Eisenhower years the father was taking a turn under the oaks. The son watched him from the porch.
"The trouble is" the man said, "there is no word for this."
"For what?"
"This." He held both arms out to the town, to the wide world. "It's not war and it's not peace. It's not death and it's not life. What is it? What do you call it?"
"I don't know."
"There is life and there is death. Life is better than death but there are worse things than death."
"What?"
"There is no word for it. Maybe it never happened before and so there is not yet a word for it. What is the word for a state which is not life and not death, a death in life?" (emphasis mine p 126)

"Wasn't it possible to believe in God like Pascal's cold-blooded bettor, because there was everything to gain if you were right and nothing to lose if you were wrong?
For a while it seemed that it was possible.
Then it seemed not to matter.
In all honesty it was easier to believe it in cool Long Island for its very outrageousness where nobody believed anything very seriously than in hot Carolina where everybody was a Christian and found unbelief unbelievable." (p 156)

"Ha, there is a secret after all, he said. But to know the secret answer, you must first know the secret question. The question is, who is the enemy?
Not to know the name of the enemy is already to have been killed by him...
The name of the enemy is death, he said, grinning and shoving his hands in his pockets. Not the death of dying but the living death...
Death in this century is not the death people die but the death people live. Men love death because real death is better than the living death. Tha's why men like wars, of course. Bad as wars are and maybe because they are so bad, thinking of peace during war is better than peace. War is what makes peace desirable. But peace without war is intolerable." (emphasis mine, p 271)

(Father Weatherbee speaking) "How can we be the best dearest most generous people on earth, and at the same time so unhappy? How harsh everyone is here! How restless! How impatient! How worried! How sarcastic! How unhappy! How hateful! How pleasure-loving! How lascivious! Above all, how selfish! Why is it that we have more than any other people, are more generous with what we have, and yet are so selfish and unhappy? Why do we think of nothing but our own pleasure?" (p 359)

Calling to himself

2009-06-16T07:16:00.004-05:00

When God calls someone to himself, it is like a boy, long trapped in a pitch black room, suddenly seeing before him a burning torch. By the light of the torch, the boy begins to see things around him that he couldn't see before. He starts understanding the room's design. He sees furniture, shelves, pictures, books, decorations - so much to explore. Over time he will study the things on the shelves and throughout the room, and when he feels as though he's seen it all, he finds a door to another room.

Thus it continues, room after room, and returning to rooms in remembrance and for reorientation. The rooms and halls are not always awe-inspiring - in fact, some are threatening. But the torch and the experiences in other rooms propel the boy into each new place with strength and encouragement.

Surely he will become bored - yes, at points. Sometimes distracted. Sometimes the light seems to darken and not be enough, but at that moment new assurance rushes in. The same cause of the torch in the first place is the one that gives perseverance and endurance. Such is the power of God's salvation and the risen Christ!

traditions and fashions

2009-04-19T09:00:00.000-05:00

"The Bohuns were one of the very few aristocratic families really dating from the Middle Ages...But it is a great mistake to suppose that such houses stand high in chivalric tradition. Few except the poor preserve traditions. Aristocrats live not in traditions but in fashions."
-- G.K. Chesterton, The Hammer of God (The Innocence of Father Brown)

These words are simply part of the beginning of a short story written more than 80 years ago - a mystery from one of the greatest collections of mysteries - yet they are provoking and profound. Did anything strike you? Sure, the language is dated, with words like chivalric and aristocratic. But there is something to catch from a simple collection of words.

Aristocrats live not in traditions but in fashions. Don't get stuck with the word "aristocrats." - unless it brings a disdain or "not that" feeling to your heart, which might prove helpful for these moments. Think about traditions. And don't relegate your concept of traditions to politics, though they might be one outlet to consider in application later. Think about fashions. Ok, don't get stuck on "fashions" either...think trends. Think gratifications.

What are some traditions? I think of family reunions. A certain type of cake or celebration for a birthday. Celebrating holidays like Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving, the Fourth of July. Eating something in particular on a certain day, or denying something on a specific day, or perhaps wearing something or saying something on a certain day.

Traditions look back, they have a sense of history, and they span generations. Traditions serve groups of people, sometimes entire people groups, and cultures. Traditions have a lot to do with being known.

What are fashions? Inherently the word "new" comes to mind. The latest this, the newest that. Trends. Colors of clothing. Iphones and "an app for everything" (and which apps are "in" now). Record albums were fashions for a time, then 8 tracks, then cassette tapes, then CD's, and even mp3 players have had their own fashions over the past few years. Atari, Nintendo, Playstation, PS2, PS 3, Wii. Anyone remember Laser Discs?

Fashions tend to only look ahead, with hope of easing the uneasiness. They can make history feel old and less useful, and they may last one generation if the stars align. Fashions serve the people in the know and the people with resources to join the party, and once in awhile affect an entire culture and people group. Fashions have a lot to do with knowing...and wanting to know more...and maybe there's a little more I can know about something even still.

Most people would seem to fall into the fashionable traditionalists category, or maybe traditional fashionists. We are caught somewhere in the middle, honoring both sides of the coin. We swing one way, then the other...maybe based on the people we're with, the work we're doing, the time of day or year, the resources we have available.

Where do you find yourself in this tension between fashions and traditions? Is it different then yesterday? What affects your perceptions of fashions and traditions? Does something from either side bring shame, or make you want to keep it secret/out of the public eye?

Of course, Chesterton is not just making a statement about the tensions between fashions and traditions, though they are part of the picture. Few except the poor preserve traditions. Ahh, it is also about preservation. Why do some people more faithfully preserve things, while others bounce from one to another? Is there anything worth preserving? What do the poor have to offer? What's the rub with aristocrats, with people who have more access to more variety of resources?

Good things are worth fighting for...but they do involve a fight. It takes offensive and defensive maneuvers in order to preserve these good things. And preservation usually takes place swimming upstream: the minute you relax, the world changes up and your senses are pulled in a plethora of stimulating places...fashions...trends. These are not necessarily evil places, but when they focus heart, mind, and spirit on simply knowing (facts, pleasures) instead of being known (family, friends, relationships, communities), they can be a danger to person, group, village, and even a nation.

Walker Percy wrote "Bad books always lie. They lie most of all about the human condition." Most fashions and trends do as well. But most traditions are still worth fighting for and preserving.

fear and hope

2008-07-16T06:04:00.004-05:00

Sam begins kindergarten in 3 1/2 weeks...bringing excitement as well as opening the can of fears. There are so many levels for parents to work through as a child becomes a student. One we're faced with here in Nashville is that the public school system for the metro county has performed poor enough (for several years) for the State of TN to "take control" of the district over the summer: assessing the current situation district wide and reorganizing the central office, moving principals around, etc. Its a move that should improve everything over time, yet its hard to believe more government from above that's disconnected is what's best for the kids...and our child.

We looked at schooling options in the Winter and Spring and applied for a lottery spot at several schools, none of which have come through. We visited our zoned neighborhood school several times and at the end of the day have felt ok about Sam starting there. In April I spoke with the principal for 30-45 minutes and was very encouraged by his philosophy and leadership. It was a strong encouragement and "positive" if Sam was going to attend that school. And there's not a lot to be encouraged about in the public school situation here.

Yesterday brought hard news and spun us into the emotional whirlwind again...disappointment, frustration, sadness, anger. With 4 weeks before school starts, the State and local board announced the shifting of about 20 principles (mostly moving around, a few new ones). And our school was on the list. We immediately tried to find out more about the new principal; a dead end because the info on the actual school's website hadn't been updated yet. We emailed our friend who has worked with that principal the past couple of years, wanting to know more yet dreading what may be hard to hear.

In my despair I try to keep running back to God for his promises. If I don't have the Spirit alive in my heart, I'm overwhelmed and lose hope. Colossians 3: let the peace of Christ rule in my heart; let the word of Christ dwell in me richly. 1 John 4: So we have come to know and rely on the love God has for us; There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.

When I am consumed with the cares of this world, I'm a slave to fear. It rules over me. I have no hope. Only if I'm led to the fountain of Christ can I shake off those guilty fears and doubting fears and rise with hope. And this hope does not disappoint us.

This is my prayer today: that I would know and rely on Christ; that I would be a slave to love and hope, not fear; that I would feel the wounds of disappointment and anger, yet be driven to the cross 10 times over; that hope would overflow from me, not just optimism or pessimism; that the God of hope would fill me with all joy and peace as I trust in him, so that I may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Disclaimer: The decision-making process in full is by no means summarized here...it is far too deep and wide for this entry and best served over a cup of coffee (or several).

Beauty vs booty

2008-07-09T06:49:00.004-05:00

Interesting - or just silly - tag line, I know. We had dinner with some friends at our house last night and had a great discussion based on "beauty vs. booty". Subtitle: Is beauty objective or is it relegated to mere subjectivity ("in the eye of the beholder"). And is something still beautiful when it has become a currency?

The discussion had a broad range. How do various cultures view beauty? Is there an underlying "constant" with beauty that is present in any and all cultures? How does the media promote beauty to a better place? or to a worse place?

Beauty brings to mind words like "unbroken" and "pure". Our eyes constantly look at good things - amazing things - that are still broken and incomplete. Directors can manipulate film to make us long for the scenery on a movie screen more than in real life. We just get bored with reality. Magazine staff can manipulate pictures so that we see beauty in an unrealistic way. We try to live up to skewed images, thinking we can achieve with our bodies (not created by us) something created by man.

Indeed we've lost much of our senses for beauty. Thankfully we still have occasions when we see or hear something and it triggers a specific reaction that we were made for. What is that...is it objective, or subjective?

Beauty is very subjective in that every human finds pleasure in different things. But the acknowledgment of beauty is objective, always a realization that we as humans long for something beyond our imagination and capabilities.

Isaiah and Wendell, this Christmas day

2007-12-25T20:54:00.000-06:00

Is 30: 15,18
15 This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it...

18 Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!

Healing from What Are People For? by Wendell Berry

I

The grace that is the health of creatures can only be held in common.

In healing the scattered members come together.

In health the flesh is graced, the holy enters the world.

II

The task of healing is to respect oneself as a creature, no more and no less.

A creature is not a creator, and cannot be. There is only one Creation, and we are its members.

To be creative is only to have health: to keep oneself fully alive in the Creation, to keep the Creation fully alive in oneself, to see the Creation anew, to welcome oneís part in it anew.

The most creative works are all strategies of this health.

Works of pride, by self-called creators, with their premium on originality, reduce the Creation to noveltyóthe faint surprises of minds incapable of wonder.

Pursuing originality, the would-be creator works alone. In loneliness one assumes a responsibility for oneself that one cannot fulfill.

Novelty is a kind of loneliness.

III

There is the bad work of pride. There is also the bad work of despairódone poorly out of the failure of hope or vision.

Despair is the too-little of responsibility, as pride is the too-much.

The shoddy work of despair, the pointless work of pride, equally betray Creation. They are wastes of life.

For despair there is no forgiveness, and for pride none. Who in loneliness can forgive?

IV

Good work finds the way between pride and despair.

It graces with health. It heals with grace.

It preserves the given so that it remains a gift.

By it, we lose loneliness:

we clasp the hands of those who go before us, and the hands of those who come after us;

we enter the little circle of each otherís arms,

and the larger circle of lovers whose hands are joined in a dance,

and the larger circle of all creatures, passing in and out of life, who move also in a dance, to a music so subtle and vast that no ear hears it except in fragments.

V

And by it we enter solitude, in which also we lose loneliness.

Only discord can come of the attempt to share solitude.

True solitude is found in the wild places, where one is without human obligation.

One’s inner voices become audible. One feels the attraction of oneís most intimate sources.

In consequence, one responds more clearly to other lives. The more coherent one becomes within oneself as a creature, the more fully one enters into the communion of all creatures.

One returns from solitude laden with the gifts of circumstance.

VI

And there is no escaping that return.

From the order of nature we return to the orderóand the disorderóof humanity.

From the larger circle we must go back to the smaller, the smaller within the larger and dependent on it.

One enters the larger circle by willingness to be a creature, the smaller by choosing to be a human.

And having returned from the woods, we remember with regret its restfulness. For all creatures there are in place, hence at rest.

In their most strenuous striving, sleeping and waking, dead and living, they are at rest.

In the circle of the human we are weary with striving, and are without rest.

VII

Order is the only possibility of rest.

The made order must seek the given order, and find its place in it.

The field must remember the forest, the town must remember the field, so that the wheel of life will turn, and the dying be met by the newborn.

The scattered members must be brought together.

Desire will always outreach the possible. But to fulfill the possible is to enlarge it.

The possible, fulfilled, is timely in the world, eternal in the mind.

Seeing the work that is to be done, who can help wanting to be the one to do it?

But one is afraid that there will be no rest until the work is finished and the house is in order, the farm is in order, the town is in order, and all loved ones are well.

But it is pride that lies awake in the night with its desire and its grief.

To work at this work alone is to fail. There is no help for it. Loneliness is its failure.

It is despair that sees the work failing in oneís own failure.

This despair is the awkwardest pride of all.

VIII

There is finally the pride of thinking oneself without teachers.

The teachers are everywhere. What is wanted is a learner.

In ignorance is hope. If we had known the difficulty, we would not have learned even so little.

Rely on ignorance. It is ignorance that teachers will come to.

They are waiting, as they always have, beyond the edge of the light.

IX

The teachings of unsuspected teachers belong to the task, and are its hope.

The love and the work of friends and lovers belong to the task, and are its health.

Rest and rejoicing belong to the task, and are its grace.

Let tomorrow come tomorrow. Not by your will is the house carried through the night.

Order is the only possibility of rest.

Africa time

2007-11-11T14:44:00.000-06:00

The past couple of weeks have been a blur since returning from Africa. For one thing I've come home to a season of planning and budgeting for 2008 with BWM. This is an exciting phase but also exhausting as we try to lay out in detail our goals for next year and how to reach them. Its also busy at home, with a sick child, a car that needs replaced, and something going on every evening it seems. The weekend has brought some much needed rest thankfully.

The first week home I mostly felt a physical weariness, my body recovering from hours of travel, jetlag and different foods. The second week has been much more of a mental weariness, with the constant feelings of "I can't catch up...I can't get anything done...How do I find time to relax". This is especially true with keeping up with emails, which bogged down as soon as I felt like I had finally caught up. Email is a violent circle because as soon as you catch up, everyone replies! Ah the joys of technology.

Hope to post more this week with some video or photos from the trip. If I can find the time...

The problem is not God, the problem is the choices humans make

2007-10-25T23:43:00.000-05:00

October 22, 2007 (cont)
It was helpful to ride to and from the memorial with Jacques, who works in the Geneva Global office in Kigali. GG is an investment research, monitoring and evaluation group whose premise is to show hard-to-translate value in philanthropic investments. We are partnering with them on some projects in Rwanda.

Jacques is from the DRC (formerly Zaire), which borders Rwanda. His story includes experiences as a refugee and it was fascinating to hear his honest and humble recounting of terrifying moments. Though he was not in Rwanda during the genocide, he has a huge heart for “national reconciliation” because of the ethnic tensions from the past that spill over from country to country via refugees. This is a key element unique to certain countries because of their histories. In “national reconciliation” people from different ethnic groups are brought together over common interests and in the process move forward together in positive interaction. It is also referred to as “peace building” which inherently promotes a future of hope as well as healing from the past. I am greatly encouraged that the projects we are funding include a heavy emphasis on peace building.

October 23, 2007
Today we drove to visit some people near Rhuengheri who are receiving rainwater catchment tanks via Moucecoure (moo-say-coor), a Rwanda-based ngo focused on spiritual and economic transformation through community-initiated self help groups. Often the groups pool together their own funds, resources and sometimes manpower to make contributions toward the water project. They also identify the poorest of the poor in their village and take initiative to improve that person’s life, perhaps by building a new house or giving some animals and crops. Moucecoure prioritizes reconciliation of relationships and restoration of hope in their work.

The drive from Kigali is about 2 ½ hours on winding roads between altitudes of 5000 and 8000 ft. The scenery in Rwanda is stunning with lush green plant growth everywhere along tiered hillsides. Every inch is utilized for agriculture, animals, and homes. I’m invigorated by this place because there is evidence of purpose and contentment in work as I look around. As we climbed up and down the roads there were steady flows of people walking on the roadside carrying food, riding bicycles with goods, or working in the foil throughout the fields. Sure, there are those that don’t work and may not be happy, but I sensed an overall pride and joy unique to Rwanda.

My initial shock upon arriving in the village was the difference in the reception of mzungus (white people) here, at least away from the city. As we pulled into the village, kids surrounded the vehicles yelling “mzungu, mzungu” and reaching their hands out to beg. Unfortunately it seems their interactions with mzungus in the past have been more in the fashion of handouts. Or perhaps traditions and lore have perpetuated those ideas. Regardless, I was saddened and reminded of the importance of community ownership and relationship.

The recipients of the clean water have done so much in preparations; they have formed groups to tackle problems in the village and already raised funds toward the projects. Essentially BWM funds are helping provide the installation of rainwater catchment tanks that each serve 4 families year round with clean water. The villagers will no longer have to walk 9 km down a 1000 ft drop of elevation—and then back—each day to the lake in the valley, which is filthy too.

As we listened to a volunteer speak about her community’s response in mobilizing a self-help group, we saw pride and joy and felt a sense of hope across typical barriers. Leading up to the initial water project, one of the groups took initiative to identify the poorest person in the village and then built a new home as well as provided some other tangible needs. BWM funds are not simply dropping a gift off, but instead are supporting and building capacity based on a solid foundation with the help of Moucecoure.

The rest of the day included lunch with our partners in Rhuengheri and the return drive to Kigali. Jacques was in our car and continued sharing freely about his life experiences and cares. His presence and steadfastness has been very inspiring to me. When we got back to the hotel we had a chance to relax and check in with emails or by phone, and dinner brought us to a fabulous Indian restaurant to finish out the day.

October 24, 2007
I had my best night of sleep yet, sleeping thru the night and waking fairly refreshed at about 6:30. The hotel breakfast has been a great start to the day with some fruit, breads, omelets, juices and tea. I’ve continued to maintain a drop in my intake of chocolate and sweets during the trip, which is probably helped by the fresh fruit consistently available for snacks and meals. I will miss that.

Our trip is finishing with a day of visiting some communities with our Rwanda-based partner AEE. They are doing amazing work in a separate rural sector north of Kigali near Buyumba. They are similar to Moucecoure in their approach via self-help groups. I had the privilege of riding in the car with and listening to stories and thoughts of Antoine, the head of AEE. One of my favorite aspects of this trip has been the opportunity to converse at length with fantastic people, and I will miss them all.

Antoine was born in northeast Rwanda and lived through the genocide with his own unique story. He and his wife had fled from Kigali toward Buyumba as the genocide approached, and spent several months in a refugee camp. They had one child at the time and were expecting another (his wife was 2 months pregnant and suffering from morning sickness frequently in the refugee camp). He, like Jacques, has a great passion for improving relationships through reconciliation nationally. This passion is obviously from the implication of moments in his life. His insight and opinions were inspiring to me; his honesty too.

We visited Nyande Primary School where BWM funds are helping provide a rainwater catchment tank. Right now the kids spend school time each day fetching water for drinking as well as cleaning schoolrooms and the latrines throughout the week. When the tank is finished in the coming months the students will be less distracted from school and have more water than before.

We then went a little farther in the bush and hiked down to a newly protected natural spring (thanks to BWM donations). The hike followed a trail dropping 500 feet over a ½ mile stretch at an elevation of 6500 feet. It was difficult to keep good footing, but after filling 15 litre jerry-cans we all started the ascent and had an even worse time. The altitude got to me quickly in addition to muscle fatigue. As we neared the top we passed by a household of an elderly couple that needed some water, so I walked over and poured my water into their basin.

It was a humbling thing to walk as they walk. Many rural Rwandans don’t need exercise because they get it naturally every day. I can understand than now and appreciate the work that goes into getting clean water. It would probably take more than 20 trips per day to get the amount of water we use in the Sands household daily. It’s a little easier to understand why kids tend to be dirtier in the rural areas and their clothes are not very clean…if you only have a very small amount of water, some things just aren’t priorities.

I know the water hike and the trip overall have brought transformation about inside me that will affect the way I talk about Africa and its people. Its one thing to connect with people via a story or video—unfortunately this is all we have most of the time. But it is another to engage with them and walk together. There is nothing like being here. But once implicated on the ground here it changes the way you speak and the motivations behind your speech. This is a gift and blessing that can be shared with other people who only hear and do not get to see firsthand.

Which reminds me, as I close, of another thing Antoine mentioned: the ministry of presence. It is a forgotten art in America, as busyness and selfishness unfortunately guide hearts easily. Rwandans appreciate people coming to help, but even more they value that you’re spending time with them…that you are present with them. Time is viewed differently, and so is family. This is one of the great challenges as we enter into American life again with families, work, hobbies, community life and so forth: to be truly present with people and live out love and mercy together.

October 25/26, 2007
We are flying over the Atlantic right now on the 3rd leg of our flights from Rwanda to Nashville. Much of my airplane time has involved reengagement into work and the busyness of home. Thankfully work didn’t pile up terribly, but there are still emails and phone calls hat start pressing the mind with weight. Before you know it you’re quickly forgetting your “presence” in another land and it takes work to maintain and grow some love and joy from afar now.

Pictures will be helpful as we re-enter our lives. They don’t tell entire stories but they are an asset to personalizing stories and speaking from the heart with grace. I didn’t have a digital camera on the trip so I have been photo-free in my blog posting. I wonder if its been helpful allowing the imagination to wander into more fullness beyond the confines of a picture. Yet if my heart and joy is to dig deep and get to know people instead of words and numbers, pictures are a part of the story. I’ll try to post some in the coming days

There are quite a few phrases and one-liners that weigh on me still, and perhaps it’s a good time to share those now. Like any words or ideas, they are not always across the board and they lack the hours of context and backdrop leading to their utterances. But I want to share them with the hope that they spur minds to think and hearts to connect and bodies to action:

On investment that fails:
Investors often operate with the minimum expecting the maximum with no risk.

On fighting poverty:
Poverty is a mindset, not just a lack of materials goods and resources. If you change the mindset, you change a nation.

On culture changes:
There is a great tension between the more modern/western culture continuously growing in the cities, all the while the majority of Rwandans live in rural areas clinging much deeper to traditions, family, relationships, and purposeful work. The goal should not be to replicate city culture in the village or vice versa, as it is arrogant and presumptuous. Unfortunately most city folks stay in the office more frequently, and become less aware, engaged and affected by situations in the places the come from or people they represent.

On change:
Part of managing change is making readjustments along the way.

On being a refugee and having hope:
God prepares you for the things in the future, not what you want, but what you will need.

Referencing Jeffrey Sachs/End of Poverty:
Good development is helping people get their foot on the first or next rung of the development ladder.

On home life:
Having a good home is not about absence of conflict; it is how you work through conflict that is vital.

On asking “Where was God in the Genocide?”:
Do we want God to be a policeman or a judge? True love must involve choice.

On asking “Where was God in the Genocide?” (part 2):
God was everywhere…there is no one in this country who would say that God was not with us in that time. They may say that religion failed, and it did miserably, but God was present and working even through these dark things. The country was bent toward terrible evil that had been festering for years. Even with the family I lost, the friends I lost (and there are so many) I am thankful the injustice came to a close so that our children can once again have hope. God was merciful in bringing evil to its head and ending it rather than sitting from afar with hands folded and letting it continue for generations.

On being present:
In Rwanda we value a “ministry of presence” very highly. If you come and help build a house, you are often concerned with if you’re being helpful or a distraction; we’re just thankful you are with us and enjoy your presence. These are conflicting mindsets.

On achievement:
You can’t work everywhere and achieve much.

On why Rwandans and millions around the globe have unmet needs and yet the global community has more than enough money and resources to intentionally approach and provide for the needs; Perhaps said as, “How does God let people live like this [in poverty and deep brokenness] and why doesn’t he do something?”:

The problem is not God, the problem is the choices humans make. God is very present and merciful, man is not, and this difference will continue to bring awful things to bear until Christ returns to restore brokenness for good.

From Kigali

2007-10-23T00:15:00.000-05:00

October 21, 2007
Jetlag is still in effect on our bodies as we are all now waking up around 4-4:30am and dozing in and out of sleep from there. For the most part I’ve done well with sleep and feeling rested during the day, but I’m sure I’ll get fully acclimated just as we prepare to go back to the US and start all over again.

I took my first bucket shower of the trip (I had done “wet-wipe showers” in Lwala) and it was probably better than most bucket showers since Norma had warmed water for us to use. I splashed water on my body and soaped up a little before rinsing off. The warm water felt great on my skin, since my other showers on the trip thus far had been lukewarm at best. A nice bath is very appealing right now!

After a brief breakfast of tea, hard boiled eggs and bread we headed to the hotel to pick up the rest of the crew. During the day we visited 3 communities that had received clean water in the past 6 months through the work of GWAKO and funds of BWM. The first village was fairly small, though the well serves about 1500 people in the area. I had seen video footage of what happens when we’ve visited communities in the past, but nothing is like the real thing.

As the matatu bounded from rut to rut a faint singing could be heard. We turned a corner of bushes and suddenly the vehicles were surrounded by villagers singing and dancing. I could barely step out of the back of the matatu before my hands were grabbed and arms raised in the air by some women, pulling me into the celebration. The crowd gradually made its way toward a seating area under some shade trees.

Since most homes are too small, village members will bring chairs and couches to a shaded area and set up an outdoor meeting room. As introductions are made, drinks (typically bottles of Sprite, Coca Cola, and Fanta Orange or Grape) and snack crackers are placed on coffee tables in front of the guests. Its good to be wise with how fast and how much you drink because they are quick to crack open another drink for you if the first bottle gets too low.

Introductions are great because they provide opportunities to not only hear from the community members but to also share something about yourself. In preparation for the trip I had spent some time thinking about what I would say in 60-90 seconds via a translator. I could just give my name and a simple “hello” or I could give some thoughtful words of encouragement and try to connect a little deeper. Its an honor to represent so many people in America and bring greetings from them. Its also a privilege to walk side by side with these friends in Africa and remind them that we are all impoverished in our souls and need each other as well as a reliance on God in order to wake up every day with hope.

Another portion of the program usually involved acting or singing and dancing by village members. Then a few representatives would get up to speak about the difference clean water was making in their lives. They would share about how they used to have so much more sickness that resulted in vomiting and diarrhea and that from the time they received clean water and improved their hygiene habits they had not been sick. They were living longer and feeling stronger. They could care for the widows and orphans more easily.

Jena would take an opportunity to talk with them as well. She has taken great care to learn Luo (the primary language of western Kenya) enough to be genuine and expressive with the village members. She is loved and welcomed with her charisma and ability to treat everyone at a family level. She would encourage the community members to keep up the good work, reminding them that they had the ability and knowledge to keep moving forward and that we were thankful to walk alongside them. She would also encourage the young girls and women to make good decisions with men and to go to school so that they could live out their dreams.

Sometimes meals are provided as well including foods such as rice, chicken or beef, some cooked greens and ugali (like pound cake in density and cream of wheat in taste). Great care and intention would be behind the meal, representing the thanksgiving of the village. We learned that if visiting more than one community that is serving a meal, its wise to not eat too much in order to eat a little at each place and acknowledge their efforts. They take great pride in giving back for what they’ve received.

The second community we visited was a church group. They had a pond that they had used for water during the rainy season, and otherwise they walked 2km each way to a stream of filthy water before they received a well. Another NGO (non-governmental organization) had come several years ago and never finished drilling. The community had been patient but experienced many letdowns along the way. Finally GWAKO was able to come and put in a well with a hand pump to fill the need. They were so thrilled that they requested another well within the 1km area to alleviate the pressure on the one source. I think we were all captivated by the village members’ ownership and pride. They emanated a true excitement from improved health and strength, which only they would know.

The final community we visited included some widows and orphans. During the program a dance troupe of many of the orphans performed a beautiful choreographed dance. Though orphans were likely present at any other point of the day, I was struck with the realization of how vital the community members were to each other and how helpful clean water was to them.

We dashed to the Kisumu Airport to catch our flight back to Nairobi. The airport is small, and after checking in we wandered to the outdoor eating/relaxing to get some fresh air. About 20 minutes before we were to board our plane, a representative came out and told us the flight had been cancelled, and if we hurried they would get us on the other flight that was about to leave. What a relief that they told us, as we would have had to wait until morning to try to fly out again!

We flew to Nairobi and joined some friends at a mzungu hang aptly named “The Carnivore.” It is what it sounds like: meat, meat, and more meat. As you walk in you pass a huge pit with various meats spinning over flames. The waiters bring skewers of meat to each person, and you simply tell them if you want it or not…typical meat like chicken, pork, beef, turkey, as well as exotic meat like ostrich meatballs and crocodile. I tried everything except the chicken liver and particularly liked the ostrich meatballs. I also celebrated a return to sweets with a chocolate chip brownie topped with vanilla ice cream!

October 22, 2007
We stayed again at the Gracia Gardens and flew the next morning to Kigali, Rwanda. My anticipation had been building for this portion of the trip. A few weeks ago we rented Beyond the Gates, a lesser known movie about the Rwandan genocide released by the BBC and a UK film company around the same time as Hotel Rwanda. It retold the true story of a Catholic school in Kigali that became a refuge for Tutsi’s as the genocide erupted throughout the city and countryside in April 1994. I was struck by the more humanistic/less Hollywood approach that opened eyes a little more to the raw brutality of the events before and during the genocide. It really twisted deep in Cari and me as we considered God and the Gospel in the midst of pure evil.

Landing in Kigali brought the movie to life visually; it was as if I had just been here as I looked across the rolling landscape and city. Except the city was filled with life and hope now. Every turn as we drove toward our hotel brought images from the movie and horrors that took place throughout the streets and homes. Though Rwandans can’t erase history, they have done a lot in recent years to create a new chapter and positive response to show what hope looks like in the depths of despair.

We visited with out partners at Geneva Global and heard some firsthand accounts of our projects in beginning stages and the villagers they will impact. Though Rwanda brings its own set of strengths and difficulties, a lot of the factors remain the same including the need for clean water as a good starting place in community development and health improvements.

Rich and I then went to Kigali Genocide Museum and Memorial. Words can’t adequately express a lot of the emotions and thoughts, but I don’t think you have to be here to be affected; Perhaps it implicates deeper than words on paper or scenes from a movie but being there only reignited and refueled the anger and the sadness in me over the genocide. This kind of evil pierces any beating heart.

Yet I was also struck by the love and mercy that were heroically displayed by normal humans. The dense darkness could not prevail against these things. At some point evil would run out and defeat itself, coming to its end once again. Its hard to answer the questions “Where was God during the genocide?” or How could God let this happen?”

I remember the story of Jesus and the man born blind. The disciples wanted to know why the man was born blind, looking for someone to blame to quell their uncertainty and lack of explanation. In their minds someone was responsible and needed to pay. Jesus responded by saying that the man was born blind not because of his own sin or his father’s sin, but in order for God’s hand of mercy to be displayed for all to see and believe. The fact that we’re not all born blind is mercy from God. The fact that there are survivors from the genocide and everyday heroes spread throughout Rwanda is the mercy of God on display. While we join some of the disciples in replying, “these are very hard sayings” Jesus sits next to us and with his hand on shoulder and head nestled close reminds us of His promises that never fail and the provision He always gives, particularly in sacrificing His own life in order to bring life through death. We should instead ask, “Where was God during the death of Christ”—the most unjust event in history—and remember that God was right there in his promises and fullness.

From Lwala to Kisumu

2007-10-22T11:06:00.000-05:00

October 18, 2007
During our flights I had a chance to read and reflect on Psalm 146. It has been a refuge for me over the past year, a great encouragement that God is both capable and committed to his image-bearers on earth. The unlovable find love, the unmerciful find mercy, the betrayed find trust and reliance in him. And I am one of them! When I was dead in my sin and flesh, Christ breathed life in the Spirit into me.

I can think of few things better to focus on. That God sought me and loved me first, and I am invited and equipped to be his arms and feet into the world. That is freedom, and I ask him for grace to bleed this freedom in all I do on this trip, to the glory of God and for his kingdom’s sake.

After a good night of sleep at the Gracia Guesthouse in Nairobi, we flew to Kisumu (western Kenya) and drove 3 hours in a matatu (van) to Lwala. Lwala is a community that BWM has been working with for the past 2 years, initiated through a friendship with Milton Ochieng’. Milton came to America from Lwala to go to college at Dartmouth and is currently in medical school at Vanderbilt (his brother Fred is at Vanderbilt as well). His father had a dream to build a medical clinic in his community, but HIV/AIDS took his life before he could fulfill his dream. Milton has been working hard to bring this dream to reality ever since. After much preparation and work, the clinic opened in April 2007. BWM has been a core part of seeding the clinic in resources and planning.

The ride to Lwala was bumpy and long, but great for taking in the scenery and conversation along the way. The landscape is beautiful rolling lines of green, with lofty trees and hut roofs throughout. Occasionally we would drive through a more populated area, and a market would be in full swing or people would be walking and riding bicycles around. Sometimes it was best to not look ahead, as the road is narrow and sometimes passing cars made for close calls!

A few miles from Lwala we turned off the main road and entered a dirt road that would take us to the village. Thankfully the rains had not been too heavy, and we were able to make it fine except for a flat tire as we neared. The driver and his friends took care of it quickly and we continued a few more minutes into the Ochieng’ family’s homestead (their group of houses in the village). As we came to a stop, the ladies ran out and surrounded the van and sang “Welcome, welcome the visitors…” to us.

We spent some time meeting the locals while walking through the village. Though I only know a few words and phrases, smiles and gestures go a long way. As the afternoon went on we relaxed in the homestead and sat around and kicked a soccer ball around with the kids. A beautiful peace exists here as you sit in the gentle breeze and listen to the cows, goats, chickens and birds calling.

The sunset was stunning. The sky seems so wide and deep here. As things grew dark we grabbed flashlights and headlamps to supplement the lantern light inside. Our main hang out is the Ochieng’ “big house”, where Milton’s parents lived. A couple of people played chess and some of us played cards as we passed some time discussing the day. Meanwhile, a delicious meal of rice, beans, cabbage, and boiled egg soup was prepared for us, and we ate around 8:30. The meal provided an opportunity for us to hear some background from each of the clinic workers, whom we would spend time with at the clinic the next day.

I climbed into bed at about 10:30. This included pulling a bed net over the bed and getting things situated for sleep, and I must have done well because I don’t remember a thing (except for a few early morning rooster crows) until waking up at 7:30. I took an Ambien to assist in a good night of sleep, and wore earplugs to help block most of the animal noise, especially as the sun came up.

October 19, 2007
This morning we all went to the clinic to observe and help the staff. In its 6 months of operations, the clinic (now officially a “health centre” due to its success) has seen almost 5000 patients from the surrounding area! At least 25% of the patients were treated for illnesses that otherwise would have resulted in death, which is incredible as well. There is typically a line of people waiting along the outside of the building each day. The clinic is unique in the area regarding its cost to the patients. It is free for patients under 5 and over 70 years of age, as well as expectant mothers and those with HIV/AIDS. For anyone else it is about 60 shillings to see the doctor, which is not quite $1 (US). This includes treatment, whether filling prescriptions or dressing a wound.

The clinic has 10 staff members, including a manager, doctor, nurses, a secretary, lab technician, security guards and groundskeeper. They also have a pharmacist, named Joash, and I had the privilege of working with him to start out. He showed me the pharmacy (2 rooms with shelving filled with bottles and boxes) and explained how to fill prescriptions. Since it wasn’t too busy yet, I pre-filled some of the anticipated doses of popular medicines, which allowed him to get ahead. I used my counting skills and carefully filled packets with their respective medicines. I was impressed with the variety of drugs they have on hand, which is a huge blessing to the people here.

During tea time (a morning break—they love their chai tea here!) we had a chance to talk more with Peter, the head doctor. With all the challenges they face here, its incredible to see the progress and growth. If it closed today, it would be beyond success. People are more healthy and living longer, and that is beautiful!

After lunch we walked to the Lwala Primary School for a special presentation. There are about 350 kids in the school, ranging from 5-18 years old. When the Jars guys were here last summer they sang to the kids in the school. This brought great anticipation to our visit since Dan and Steve were coming again. All the students brought their seats into the courtyard area and Damaris the head teacher started the festivities. Jena made some introductions and then Steve and Dan sang a couple of songs for the kids. We then had the joy of receiving a song from a group of kids. One of them led the song and the others would chime in with a repeated phrase. They were dancing and clapping and by the end Jena got up and joined them. It was quite the little party.

Dan then read his children’s book to the kids, which is called “The One, the Only Magnificent Me”. Afterwards we passed out children’s books (several suitcases worth), which we brought from a friend in the US. The kids looked over the books and shared many laughs at the pictures. The books will be added to their library and enjoyed for years to come.

A little rain could not prevent the soccer match later in the afternoon. Lwala has a team and occasionally plays neighboring villages, and we had requested a game if possible. There is a formality in it all, as beforehand one team sends a note of invitation to the prospective team, which is either affirmed or denied. Thankfully it was accepted and at about 5:30 both teams went out on the pitch in their red and blue uniforms to begin play. One highlight was the mzungu (“white person”) on the Lwala team, our very own Barak. He is our 1000 Wells Project Director. What joy to see him jump right in there and play well, especially with a few close calls on scoring plays. I’m sure he was worn out from the altitude (about 5000 feet above sea level) and constant motion! The Lwala team won 1-0, scoring on a header that was pretty amazing.

From there the evening remained fairly relaxed. We were able to spend a little time reflecting and sharing our thoughts among the group, and played some cards again too. At about 9pm dinner was served: lentils, rice, some meat and pineapple. The meals have been tasty and filling, which has been a pleasant surprise from what I imagined beforehand.

After dinner came dance time as the ladies of the homestead cleared the tables and pathway around them and started singing songs about us/to us. They started a dance train around the tables, clapping and bobbing around freely while they sang. There is sadness in the midst of joy remembering that we’ll be leaving the next morning. The love, care, grace, and strength exhibited has been contagious. It changes you in many ways, which are mostly yet to be known.

October 20, 2007
I enjoyed another good night of sleep in the hut, waking around 7am. Omondi (Milton’s oldest brother and the head of the house now) made some mandazi for us for breakfast (similar to donuts). They are served with chai tea, and taste wonderful when dipped into the tea. After breakfast I played with some of the kids, kicking around a ball made of plastic bags and string. The morning was relaxed, providing a good opportunity for me to reflect and refresh.

Goodbyes are hard, especially when you’ve just gotten settled and more comfortable. Our friends were very generous beyond fixing food and hosting us with lodging. They gave of their hearts and their treasures trusting that we would honor them and speak well of them when we remember them.

Spending 3 hours in a matatu is not what I’d choose to pass an afternoon, but it was our best means of getting back to Kisumu. This time around there was less conversation, as the day promoted reflection during transition. I think it is helpful to have that in the midst of new experiences when comforts are removed. It is vital when it comes to processing events and emotions in order to best share stories upon returning.

We checked in at the University House and had a little time to clean up and rest before dinner. Then we walked a block away to meet with the staff of GWAKO, a partner BWM has been working with since 2004. They have a great gift in the opportunities and ways they work in villages around Kisumu. About 10 years ago Benjamin started GWAKO after seeing a need for clean water to fight diseases in his region and doing something about it. They focus on creating women’s groups to address village needs beginning with clean water and hygiene and sanitation training. In the process a water committee is formed and there are multiple opportunities to strengthen the community’s ownership of the project. The community members aren’t just asking for help; they are actually helping to put the wheels in motion and then carrying out programs that will add sustainability and dignity. We at BWM have learned how critical hygiene and sanitation are in the approach to clean water in addressing the needs and health of a community.

Shem is in charge of the drilling preparations and training as well as implementation. Lillian and Elizabeth lead the hygiene trainings and follow up with communities. Benjamin’s wife Norma is a school teacher in addition to the various things she does with GWAKO (particularly helping with follow up in the months and years after a project).

After a brief meeting and introductions, we walked across the street to a Chinese restaurant for dinner. “Chinese food in Africa” you may wonder? Well it was a helpful transition from the village foods not to mention good Chinese food too. Our stomachs have hung in their, but its nice to have something a little more familiar occasionally.

Barak and I spent the night at Benjamin’s house just outside Kisumu. We arrived around 9pm and his 3 kids were sleepy but so excited to see us that they hadn’t gone to bed yet. Since we were all tired we talked for 20-30 minutes and then went to bed. His home was wonderful with tile floors and bedrooms for Barak and I. They moved into the house a couple of years ago and have done a lot of work from the dirt floors and plain cement walls it had at the time. They enjoy hosting visitors and take great pride in having a place available that is not much different from a guest house or hotel.

Landing in Africa

2007-10-17T14:26:00.000-05:00

Well here is something worthwhile to blog; not that other topics and experiences are lesser, but in a fast-paced world that unfortunately accepts (and promotes) succumbing to some things just to get by, its not easy to find a voice and feel that it is important to share. The beauty is that any person’s work can bear fruit that restores brokenness in the large and small places of the world. We just have a hard time believing that. Most of the time it is easier to ignore the background and history and simply keep the bootstraps pulled up until you reach a point of rest. The trouble is, that rest is the most difficult to accept and promote. It is not oft longed for, yet it is the very thing necessary to enjoy life.

I boarded a plane in Nashville yesterday afternoon and joined some good friends on a journey to Kenya and Rwanda. The itinerary is compelling, including visits with communities Blood:Water Mission has been engaged with for 3 years as well as meeting people for the first time and digging through what it means to sacrifice and serve together. In 2004 I traveled to South Africa and dipped into the HIV/AIDS crisis personally. I have faces and names and stories in mind as I consider the pandemic, which helps prevent paralysis and promotes acting in love and mercy. I learned that every man and woman is born in the image of God, and worthy of love, dignity and respect. That’s easy to say, yet terribly difficult to actual live out. And no matter where I live, work, and move I get the privilege of entering into that struggle with hope every day.

After a short flight to Detroit, we transferred to a plane bound for Amsterdam; about a 7 hour flight, which I filled with the lovely task of cleaning out my email inbox as well as watching Evan Almighty and diving into the #1 Ladies Detective Agency stories (set in Botswana) with The Full Cupboard of Life. Of course there were conversations with friends and a brief hour of sleep as well. Our time in Amsterdam was very brief, as we quickly made our way to our connecting flight that has brought us to Nairobi after another 8 hours. I filled the time with more of the same, but fortunately slept a few hours this time around. We landed in Nairobi in the evening so hopefully I’m worn out enough to sleep heavy tonight.

Tomorrow morning we have a lobby call at 6am to head back to the airport for a short flight to Kisumu. From there we’ll drive a few hours in a matatu to see our friends in Lwala. For some history on this community, check out the film short at www.hopeforlwala.com

I’ll try to check in again by the weekend after our 3 days in Lwala.

2007-10-01T06:45:00.000-05:00

Isaiah 55 -- The Compassion of the LORD
1-3 "Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear, and come to me; hear, that your soul may live; and I will make with you an everlasting covenant, my steadfast, sure love for David.
4-5 Behold, I made him a witness to the peoples, a leader and commander for the peoples. Behold, you shall call a nation that you do not know, and a nation that did not know you shall run to you, because of the LORD your God, and of the Holy One of Israel, for he has glorified you.
6-9 "Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10-11 "For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.
12-13 "For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall make a name for the LORD, an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off."

Some thoughts:
"Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters...he who has no money, come, buy and eat...buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy?" (1)

The invitation is to all; no one is beyond need of this satisfying food and drink. One of the greatest struggles for anyone--and especially one who is successful and not "in need"--is to know his/her need; to be aware of the thirst and hunger that will never be satisfied by the stuff of earth. And to think that God offers what we need at his cost and supply!

"Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear, and come to me; hear, that your soul may live; and I will make with you an everlasting covenant, my steadfast, sure love for David." (2)

God desires to lavish these gifts upon us, that we may be restored in fellowship with God even in part on earth. Chasing the food and satisfaction of things of this world brings death, whereas coming to Christ brings life. And this is based on God's covenant with us, promises he keeps according to his mercy, grace and power; Promises that are not according to anything I've mustered or accomplished but instead purchased by the life, death and resurrection of Christ.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD....For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it." (9-11)

This is great news! By faith we can know God's goodness and mercy, having hope in all things. My motivations are always tainted, and often return empty or at least short of the goal. How great that God intends good and restoration AND he delivers accordingly! Many have been wounded by individuals, by the church, by leaders, by family; their trust is lacking and cynicism likely high. And based on experience, why not? But the beauty of faith in the Gospel is that Christians can move through and beyond hurt and trials by relying continuously on God's objective promises. He is faithful even in our faithlessness. And his promises are backed with the blood and atonement of Christ, which leaves little question of God's intention or plan. His promises are meant for freedom!

"For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall make a name for the LORD, an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off." (12-13)

The images are of beauty in the desert, of life coming into places where hardness and death are persistent. This is possible according to God's promises and through his Spirit. Yet the beauty and " life" do not exist for themselves; Instead they give signposts for all to see of God's faithfulness and providence. The fruit is present to remind us that God IS who he claims to be and will deliver on future promises just as he's been faithful in the past and present.

The responses of the human heart are beautiful as well: joy and peace. These are specifically chosen and go far beyond happiness and a lack of conflict. Joy and peace are deep-seated and honor every person involved, freely entering into any situation honestly with the hope of the Gospel. And this hope does not disappoint, as we see over and over throughout history and God's word. In this we--the thirsty and the hungry--find wine and milk, as well as rest, as it only comes through Christ and the Spirit.

water is life

2007-06-06T11:55:00.000-05:00

from Barak Bruerd, 1000 Wells Project Manager (BWM) on the BWM Blog

The human body is 70% water. A 3% loss of water can reduce a person’s ability to work by 20%. For your average 60lb school-age child, that amounts to a standard nalgene-bottle full of water. Under exertion, the human body can sweat twice that in an hour. Now imagine sub-Saharan Africa, 90 to 110 degree heat depending on the season and a 2 mile hike to get water... one way. The average size jerry can used to carry water is 5 gallons, which weights a whopping 40lbs. Now imagine that you are a 7-year old girl. And you make this trek 3 times every day.

For a Westerner, this daily hardship is unimaginable. For Utamuriza, in northern Rwanda, it’s inevitable. But it’s not really the hike, or the 1000 extra calories she burns every day that keeps her just slightly malnourished; she could even live with the long lines at the source and fighting when others try to cut to the front or scarcity forces disputes between rival villages. The part that brings a sense of despair is that there seems no way out. Her treks for water comprise over 6 hours of labor every day, a task that often make her late for school, even missing classes all together. In this world, education provides the only future and most children miss anywhere from 4 to 10 days of school a month because of household work like hauling water, or the diseases that come from drinking from unclean sources.

Let’s complicate things. Water-borne disease is not just limited to typhoid, cholera, giardia, amoebic dysentery, ascaris, schistosomiasis, hookworm or trachoma - the combined forces of which infect over 50% of the developing world’s population at any one time and claim the lives of over 2 million children every year. Water-borne diseases also include common parasites like roundworm and tapeworm. Bloated abdomens are the usual indicator, and these parasites can consume up to 30% of the nutrients ingested by their host, exacerbating malnutrition, hampering the immune system, and stunting childhood development at every level. Colds, flu, and respiratory infections all have roots in poor hygiene as do skin diseases such as scabies, and fungal infections.

We’d like to think that putting a clean source of water in a community would be enough - if so, our jobs would be quite easy. But to actually reduce disease, the water has to stay clean and be used properly. Contamination between source and point of use is extremely high without proper hygiene education. Practices your mother always harped on when you were a kid, like washing hands, taking baths, and putting the lid back on containers have to be implemented for health improvements to be actualized. While the idea of hygiene may seem like a no-brainer consider this: it’s not so long ago that western civilization thought that diseases came from lighting and “bad air” and doctors performed open surgery without so much as washing their hands let alone wearing gloves. It wasn’t until the 1860’s when Louis Pasteur proved that bacteria caused disease that our worldview changed to embrace the impact of the mico-world, and even then the magnitude of that discovery took several decades to affect society. We have lived with this idea for only the last 150 years; a mere breath of time compared to the millennia spent hiding from “bad air”. So it should come as no surprise that educating rural communities on the practices of good hygiene is difficult. The processes of worldview change and actual behavior change requires relationships, trust, and above all, time.

“Water is Life” is a slogan I’ve heard repeated in most of the communities we have visited. It’s life in more ways than just one - it’s wellbeing, it’s health, it’s time, it’s education, it’s peace, it’s hope. This year our partners will be initiating a spring development project in Utamuriza’s village that will improve flow rates and pipe water to a central location near the village. They’ll begin a comprehensive program to teach hygiene and assist families in implementing it in their homes. This project will impact three communities on the region and they, along with Utamuriza will experience a whole new life.

integration, delight, and renewal

2007-05-24T14:11:00.000-05:00

In Genesis God reveals the establishment of His Kingdom. It is one that contains Integration, Delight and Renewal. These are not pipe dreams or goofy notions, but rather where we are headed in part on earth and in full when Christ returns.

Integration sets right the brokenness that pervades since the fall of mankind in the garden. It once again sets in motion the purity and unity of words and action, deeds and decrees.

Delight reminds that God created and recreates with the intent of goodness and freedom. So often I am bound by the laws I put on myself and my perception of how to please God. I often lose sight of God's delight in me, as well as my freedom to delight in and enjoy what is good in His creation. Instead I am enslaved to trying to be perfect in words and thought, or acts of penance to try to regain some sort of perfect status.

Renewal is the source of hope for the believer. God is the God of renewal, and He brings His promises to fruition and loves us perfectly and faithfully.

There are 2 keys to seeing Integration, Delight, and Renewal brought to reality on earth. First, the PEACE of Christ must rule our hearts. We must rest in His promises and find contentment in calling. This true peace brings freedom, and overflows into the lives of other people beautifully.

The other critical factor is the WORD of Christ dwelling in us richly. What a beautiful image, that the Almighty God would choose to live in us and do so gloriously. He does this through His Word, which should be on our hearts, taught diligently to children, spoken about and brought to life when at home, at work, waking up and while preparing for sleep. And it is His Spirit that transforms us through His Word and brings peace.

May God transform my heart and our hearts so that this becomes reality more and more. For His sake and the sake of His kingdom and glory.

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Col. 3:15-17)

from proverbs 16

2007-05-10T07:05:00.000-05:00

“The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD. All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the Spirit. Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established. The LORD has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble. Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the LORD; be assured, he will not go unpunished. By steadfast love and faithfulness iniquity is atoned for, and by the fear of the LORD one turns away from evil. When a man’s ways please the LORD, he makes even his enemies be at peace with him. Better is a little with righteousness than great revenues with injustice. The heart of a man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. (Prov 16:1-9)

“The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.” (v 1)
Man does all he/she can to plan out life: setting goals, networking, finding the right timing. These are not bad things, but they are limited to the flesh. Unless God’s Spirit is powerfully present, they are just the best-laid plans susceptible to optimism and pessimism. They miss out on hope, and true hope reveals the presence of the Holy Spirit. The mouth and tongue are great tools of the LORD.

“All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the Spirit.” (v 2)
I don’t need much convincing to believe that “I know best”. I can justify all I want and use the best ideologies and scientific methods, but miss out on glorifying God if I neglect my spirit. This is the purpose of confession, of repentance, of renewal: this is God transforming my heart and mind to be more like Christ.

“Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.” (v 3)
When we rely on Christ and trust in God’s faithfulness, we have a better ability to see God’s work in, around, and through us. It doesn’t remove pain or suffering, but strengthens us to enter into hard things with the only hope that can sustain us.

“The LORD has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble.” (v 4)
Yes, the sovereignty of God must be laid plain. The believer finds rest and true contentment in God’s sovereignty, but knows not to throw this idea around without thought and intentionality. Humility and compassion are vital.

“Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the LORD; be assured, he will not go unpunished.” (v 5)
If we take the Bible seriously and live by faith according to His promises, we must see the arrogance of every heart—the flesh—and continuously be moved toward repentance and renewal.

“By steadfast love and faithfulness iniquity is atoned for, and by the fear of the LORD one turns away from evil.” (v 6)
Do I rely on Christ’s sacrifice on the cross to deal with my iniquity? Do I really believe that my heart needs a Savior, that I have unclean lips and am dressed in filthy rags? Unless I go to these places, my faith is just like self-improvement tactics and trying to be a “good person” who is simply “happy” (and “deserving to be happy”). Salvation comes through a steep cost, and we should pray for hearts to see the extent of our sins even as we ask for His blood to cleanse.

“When a man’s ways please the LORD, he makes even his enemies be at peace with him.” (v 7)
This is the fruit of trusting in Christ, that others begin to experience joy and peace. The Spirit changes hearts. We don’t try to please God simply in order to get along; No, that is much too cheap. We please God because we were made to glorify Him, and in the process we are able to experience miraculous peace through the power of His Spirit.

“Better is a little with righteousness than great revenues with injustice.” (v 8)
We must always treat others with dignity, love and respect. This is the entry point toward real relationship and opportunities of real mercy and compassion.

“The heart of a man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.” (v 9)
This is the source of unity and reconciliation. When believers work together for God’s kingdom work, God produces fruit beyond any human effort or imagination. We must believe that God’s ways are beyond my ways, and only through His power these things are possible.

seek conversation beyond confrontation

2007-04-09T06:48:00.000-05:00

The brokenness of this world is easy to find. It is also easy to ignore, at least for a time. I can hang out with people who are similar to me, call the people I want to talk with, email those who are on the same page with similar interests. I can talk about great things, honorable things, hard things, yet for what benefit?

In this upside-down world, the Gospel compels the believer to not be content with easy comfortable community. It not only compels, but equips as well. When it comes to talking with people outside natural affinity, confrontation often takes center stage. It could be a simple phone call to a credit card company or bank to straighten out some charges or a discussion with neighbors about an issue that's come up. More often than not I enter these kinds of encounters with one focus: what I need to get from it. "I" am the sole focus, which means the other person or people get left in the dust. Worse yet I can package it as nicely as I want to, thinking I am doing the right thing and even helping the other person out.

The Gospel equips by giving me glasses with which to see the world. These glasses break down cultural barriers and prejudices. They lay a simple foundation of love, dignity and respect, and only from this place can "conversation" take place beyond confrontation. The focus is on relationship instead of something earned or lost. The goal is further discussion and the ability to love well even those hard to love (which we all likely represent to someone else).

Living each day with this unspoken motto -- "seek conversation beyond confrontation" -- may not seem that radical. But try it on for a day or a week with intentionality and awareness. My gut is that my motivations aren't as good as I'd like to think. The beauty is that God restores my own brokenness even as I work through brokenness with others. And that is the glory of the Gospel...Christ lived, died, and rose from the dead that I might have life and joy in abundance. He exemplified this life of conversation and relationships, even while speaking some of the hardest truths. Even His confrontations bore the fingerprint of conversation in His humility, mercy, compassion and love. May this God of hope fill us with all joy and peace as we trust in Him, that we may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Rm 15:13)

Save Lives In Africa--Vote Today

2007-03-29T14:31:00.000-05:00

My good friend Matthew Smith has built a Squidoo lens that is up for Lens of the Year. Lenses are webpages describing something...you can see it right here and you can read Matthew talk about it right here. You can help him out and vote for it here.

Today is the last day so go vote!

water for thought

2007-02-27T09:45:00.000-06:00

From SFGate.com [View printable version here]

The real cost of bottled water

Jared Blumenfeld, Susan Leal

Sunday, February 18, 2007

San Franciscans and other Bay Area residents enjoy some of the nation's highest quality drinking water, with pristine Sierra snowmelt from the Hetch Hetchy reservoir as our primary source. Every year, our water is tested more than 100,000 times to ensure that it meets or exceeds every standard for safe drinking water. And yet we still buy bottled water. Why?

Maybe it's because we think bottled water is cleaner and somehow better, but that's not true. The federal standards for tap water are higher than those for bottled water.

The Environmental Law Foundation has sued eight bottlers for using words such as "pure" to market water that contains bacteria, arsenic and chlorine. Bottled water is no bargain either: It costs 240 to 10,000 times more than tap water. For the price of one bottle of Evian, a San Franciscan can receive 1,000 gallons of tap water. Forty percent of bottled water should be labeled bottled tap water because that is exactly what it is. But even that doesn't dampen the demand.

Clearly, the popularity of bottled water is the result of huge marketing efforts. The global consumption of bottled water reached 41 billion gallons in 2004, up 57 percent in just five years. Even in areas where tap water is clean and safe to drink, such as in San Francisco, demand for bottled water is increasing -- producing unnecessary garbage and consuming vast quantities of energy. So what is the real cost of bottled water?

Most of the price of a bottle of water goes for its bottling, packaging, shipping, marketing, retailing and profit. Transporting bottled water by boat, truck and train involves burning massive quantities of fossil fuels. More than 5 trillion gallons of bottled water is shipped internationally each year. Here in San Francisco, we can buy water from Fiji (5,455 miles away) or Norway (5,194 miles away) and many other faraway places to satisfy our demand for the chic and exotic. These are truly the Hummers of our bottled-water generation. As further proof that the bottle is worth more than the water in it, starting in 2007, the state of California will give 5 cents for recycling a small water bottle and 10 cents for a large one.

Just supplying Americans with plastic water bottles for one year consumes more than 47 million gallons of oil, enough to take 100,000 cars off the road and 1 billion pounds of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere, according to the Container Recycling Institute. In contrast, San Francisco tap water is distributed through an existing zero-carbon infrastructure: plumbing and gravity. Our water generates clean energy on its way to our tap -- powering our streetcars, fire stations, the airport and schools.

More than 1 billion plastic water bottles end up in the California's trash each year, taking up valuable landfill space, leaking toxic additives, such as phthalates, into the groundwater and taking 1,000 years to biodegrade. That means bottled water may be harming our future water supply.

The rapid growth in the bottled water industry means that water extraction is concentrated in communities where bottling plants are located. This can have a huge strain on the surrounding eco-system. Near Mount Shasta, the world's largest food company, Nestle, is proposing to extract billions of gallons of spring water, which could have devastating impacts on the McCloud River.

So it is clear that bottled water directly adds to environmental degradation, global warming and a large amount of unnecessary waste and litter. All this for a product that is often inferior to San Francisco's tap water. Luckily, there are better, less expensive alternatives:

-- In the office, use a water dispenser that taps into tap water. The only difference your company will notice is that you're saving a lot of money.

-- At home and in your car, switch to a stainless steel water bottle and use it for the rest of your life knowing that you are drinking some of the nation's best water and making the planet a better place.

another anniversary

2007-01-21T15:08:00.000-06:00

My resolution to update my blog more frequently this year has gone where most resolutions go...not quite the trash can, but not as successful as desired. But I'm still here!

Last week we celebrated 8 years of marriage. Its hard to believe time has moved so quickly, yet I remember well the wedding and honeymoon in Aruba. A smile appears each year when the Sundance Film Festival makes headlines. I remember walking off the airplane with Cari, straight from tropical Aruba, into the airport in Salt Lake City. We joined the Jars guys to drive into the mountains to Park City for a showcase during the film festival. A little awkward, perhaps, at least until the initial, "What have you been up to?" had been asked.

Fast forward to 2007 and so much has changed. January has been extremely busy in the Sands household. I've had quite a few music opportunities, as well as an insane month in my non-profit world. December brought a tremendous response in giving and growth for Blood:Water Mission. I'm still catching up in a lot of ways, but also excited to be sharing the load with 2 new friends. This month we've welcomed Matthew Provo into the fold to head up our grassroots work in the US as well as most things marketing. Next month Barak Bruerd is joining us as the 1000 Wells Project Manager. This has been a long time coming, and we're already sighing some relief as we move into our 3rd official year.

A team just left for Africa for Blood:Water Mission...please pray for Jena Lee, Christopher and Suzanne Williams, Charlie and Sonja Lowell, Brandon Heath, Steve Garber, and Elliot Garber. They will be in Kenya and Uganda visiting many of our friends, and will return at the beginning of February.

Musically, this month I've played for projects with Justin Rosolino as well as Mitch Dane. Also in the mix were a couple of shows with Matthew West, a showcase with Michael Olson, and a show at a local club with Billy Cerveny. This coming weekend I'm doing a last minute fill-in with Caedmon's Call for a conference in North Carolina. I've enjoyed the mix of some live shows along with studio opportunities.

Each year as our anniversary date nears (or passes) I read Manalive by G.K. Chesterton. Its one of my favorite books. I love the images portrayed in the book, challenging me to take seriously Christ's admonition to see the world through the eyes of a child and to be filled with pure joy and hope. It is contagious. It is paradoxical. It is revolutionary. And it might even change the way other people live too. I think of this most in marriage...what better place to start living this way, affecting household, family, friends, community and beyond. All to the glory of God.

good magazine

2007-01-04T13:31:00.000-06:00

We went to Barnes & Noble for our somewhat traditional Sunday morning hang...Sam plays with the trains on the Thomas table and we pick up some magazines to relax and catch up with the world. I usually pick up The Economist, Atlantic Monthly, Foreign Affairs or some other random news magazine to get a broad view of culture and events. Right in the front was a new magazine called Good. It intrigued me immediately by the cover and story taglines, and I picked it up with a few others named above just in case it was not "good".

Good has some refreshing approaches: money has been raised to allow the magazine to be published and hopefully stay afloat, so subscribers select from 12 organizations that receive the full $20 subscription to continue their "good" work; each issue finishes with a "project", an opportunity for the reader to think about action; and overall sense of honesty and straight-forwardness.

I particularly enjoyed this article entitled Unconscious Consumption [Click here].

As always, critical thinking and discussion is vital in these things...perhaps this will lead to some for all of us.

the end of 2006...reflection and realignment

2006-12-28T14:41:00.000-06:00

The end of the year tends to bring two R's to my life: reflection and realignment. I often turn to one of my favorite authors to assist in this process, and Wendell Berry wrote and released Andy Catlett: Early Travels just in time.

First some reflection...

our family has increased by one, with the arrival of Willa Kile on November 26.

Sam is 3 1/2 and loving playing guitars, singing, reading, and playing with his cars, megablocks construction set, and trains. (oh, and helping make fudge, too)

Blood:Water Mission continues to grow and solidify, and my role as well. Celebrate with us by viewing our Christmas E-Card.

I also continue to grow in my music career, playing bass in the studio frequently for various projects and producers. In addition, we've been blessed through our church community and friends here in Nashville. What a joy to walk in the interwoven life God has given and continues to grow.

Lastly, some realignment...

I just finished Berry's new novel about Andy Catlett. Looking at it in the bookstore, I was a little disappointed to find only 140 pages of writing. But it is more of a "yearning for more" than a disappointment of incompletion.

Wendell offers a longing for a simpler life...less distractions, more intentionality, more cycles to carry us (seasons), less busyness for the sake of busyness. He doesn't just offer it or give it--he restores it. His stories and writing pull me from the present and show me a past, which may differ completely from my story, yet brings joy and rest in reflection of my own past along with some formulation of "what now"...how to live in the midst of the present and future worlds. His writing is transformational.

The past is gone, that is true. Time brings changes that usher in new generations and shut doors to some traditions. We can mourn. Yes, we can fight. But we must also step forward in hope that the foundation laid by the past will support the building of something more glorious in God's economy and kingdom. Fear is the enemy in this...and it can only be conquered by freedom. We can only be free if we give our cares and fears over the One who can bear them. After all, that is why Jesus came, to conquer death and the fears that exist because of it.

May we find peace and rest in this freedom in the year(s) to come...

32 and still learning

2006-11-16T05:39:00.000-06:00

Well, 32 has arrived and I continue to learn...that there is so much more to learn. If you have 30-40 minutes to listen to an mp3, I encourage you to download and listen to this sermon from Sunday night about Romans 14 and tolerance.

Kevin Twit is a brilliant teacher and thinker, tuned into the soul of culture in the context of the gospel (instead of the other way around). He's also a good friend and an imagebearer of God like any other human.

Tolerance? - Romans 14

why i like chesterton (pt 6)

2006-11-05T15:44:00.000-06:00

The past month has been 60-70 hour work weeks between regular life (music, Blood:Water Mission, family, church) and remodeling our utility room. Things always take longer than you intend. I'm so thankful to be done with it, and proud of all the work. Thanks to friends and family who helped along the way...typing from the desk of my new office area, and now our laundry is hidden in a closet, as well as a lot of storage for files and gear in a separate closet.

As I'm getting close to the end of Wisdom & Innocence: A Life of GK Chesterton by Joseph Pearce, another paragraph strikes:

on the past, present, and future

"We talk of people living in the past; and it is commonly applied to old people or old-fashioned people. But, in fact, we all live in the past, because there is nothing else to live in. To live in the present is like proposing to sit on a pin. It is too minute, it is too slight a support, it is too uncomfortable a posture, and it is of necessity followed immediately by totally different experiences, analogous to those of jumping up with a yell. To live in the future is a contradiction in terms. The future is dead; in the perfectly definite sense that it is not alive. It has no nature, no form, no feature, no vaguest character of any kind except what we choose to project upon it from the past. People talk about the dead past; but the past is not in the least dead, in the sense in which the future is dead.

The past can move and excite us, the past can be loved and hated, the past consists largely of lives that can be considered in their completion; that is, literally in the fullness of life. But nobody knows anything about any living thing in the future, except what he chooses to make up, by his own imagination, out of what he regrets in the past or what he desires in the present." (439)

By the way, we're still anxiously awaiting the arrival of Sands #4, due Nov 22 and expected anytime!! We appreciate prayers for patience, strength, health, and rest as the days pass.

leadership and basses for sale on ebay

2006-10-08T14:06:00.000-05:00

Coming off a 2-day conference in Atlanta called Catalyst, listening to Andy Stanley, Marcus Buckingham, John Maxwell, George Barna, Gary Haugen, Rich McKinley, and Donald Miller. Very helpful in thinking through the Gospel and leadership in all of calling, whether work, family, church, or others. 8 of us from the Blood:Water Mission crew (staff and volunteers) drove down for a little reward and refreshment. Though it was so much to digest in a little time, it has already brought new vision and ideas for what lies ahead.

On another note, let you bass playing friends know I'm finally ebay-ing some basses. Links are below...

--My first bass of my career is up for sale, a Fender Jazz Bass Plus from 1990-91. Hard to part with this for sentimental reasons especially, but it is ready for someone else to play.

--My second bass is up for sale as well...a 5 string Carvin fretless. I purchased this leading up my audition with Jars of Clay in Dec 1995. Aside from playing it for my audition (a show here in Nashville in front of my friends and musical heroes:), I toured with it for several years and have used it in the studio.

--Lastly, a 4 string Carvin P-series is up for sale...this is a versatile bass that includes adjustable pick-ups in each string saddle.

why i like chesterton (pt 5)

2006-09-20T07:02:00.000-05:00

on Christ...

"When we look, so to speak, through the four windows of the Evangelists at this mysterious figure, we can see there a recognisable Jew of the first century, with the traceable limitations of such a man. Now this is exactly what we do not see. If we must put the thing profanely and without sympathy, what we see is this: an extraordinary being who would certainly have seemed as mad in one century as another, who makes a vague and vast claim to divinity...For some of his utterances men might fairly call him a maniac; for others, men long centuries afterwards might justly call him a prophet. But what nobody can possibly call him is a Galilean of the time of Tiberius...That is not how he appeared to his own nation, who lynched him, still shuddering at his earth-shaking blasphemies...

"If I take it for granted (as most modern people do) that Jesus of Nazareth was one of the ordinary teachers of men, then I find Him splendid and suggestive indeed, but full of riddles and outrageous demands...but if I put myself hypothetically into the other attitude, the case becomes curiously arresting and even thrilling. If I say 'Suppose the Divine did really walk and talk upon the earth, what should we be likely to think of it?' -- than the foundations of my mind are moved. So far as I can form any conjecture, I think we should see in such a being exactly the perplexities that we see in the central figure of the Gospels...I think he would seem to us to contradict himself; because, looking down on life like a map, he would see a connection between things which to us are disconnected. I think, however, that he would always ring true to our own sense of right, but ring (so to speak) too loud and too clear. He could be too good but never too bad for us: 'Be ye perfect.' I think there would be, in the nature of things, some tragic collision between him and the humanity he had created, culminating in something that would be at once a crime and an expiation...I think, in short, that he would give us a sensation that he was turning all our standards upside down, and yet also a sensation that he had undeniably put them the right way up."

--In response to an article denying the divinity of Christ. Chesterton was years away from professing faith in God, but had a love for dogma and historical truth.

a little bit of dying...or maybe a lot

2006-09-07T05:43:00.000-05:00

The other night a friend of ours joined us for a back porch conversation. The summer heat has finally subsided and we've been enjoying cool evenings sitting under the stars at least for a few minutes each night. Our back porch is temporarily out of commission...paint is still drying on the concrete, after we pulled up the lovely putting green carpet and used way too much elbow grease cleaning up the glue on the surface. Tomorrow it'll be back in service, and until then we've utilized the driveway behind the house for seating area.

So back to this conversation. Our friend is a couple of years removed from college and has been hit very hard with the frustrations of calling, career, friendships, church, and hobbies. They're all individual and separate, but very interwoven in reality. Displeasure or struggle in one pours into another, and if they all start to brew, it is difficult to step outside to get a true picture of life. That was the case here.

It is hard to listen. The human heart does not enjoy frustration, sadness, and hard things. We like to "be there" for someone, to be a rescue...but to walk alongside appropriately, effectively, patiently--that is not necessarily the road of choice. Listening is a gift of grace.

It is hard to not offer answers. The human heart, when exposed to these things, immediately rushes to conclusions and the "fixing" part; especially the male human heart, speaking from experience. We want to solve problems. We want resolution. Speaking truth and courage into a life is a gift of grace.

So what's this about dying? Well, as our conversation continued, we found intrigue and hope in being reminded that being a believer in the gospel of Christ and transformed by His Spirit includes a little bit of dying...or maybe a lot. Dying to some dreams that aren't coming to fruition. Dying to the idea of not having bills to pay, especially those student loans. Dying to the idea that friendships last forever and never have struggles. The post-college years are critical in walking through these things.

But the glory of the Gospel is that death is not final. In the midst of death there must be life! And when we die to these things, whatever they may be, we simultaneously embrace the hope and glory of the Gospel. Is everything resolved nice and tidily? Probably not. Believing in the hope of the Gospel involves a willingness to long for a substantial healing...a proximite justice...while on earth, trusting and believing that a complete and fulfilling healing is yet to come. We wait, but we wait with hope. And we overflow for others to experience this grace and glory.

why i like chesterton (pt 4)

2006-08-25T07:16:00.000-05:00

on marriage

One of the mysteries of Marriage (which must be a sacrament and an extraordinary one too) is that a man evidently useless like me can yet become at certain instants indispensable. And the further oddity (which I invite you to explain on mystical grounds) is that he never feels so small as when he knows that he is necessary.
--from a letter written to Father O'Connor during Frances' depression and illness, 1909

He is not alone in this...

why i like chesterton (pt 3)

2006-08-25T07:03:00.000-05:00

Answering 3 questions from Robert Blanchford, as they debated within their newspaper columns 1903:

1. Are you a Christian? Certainly

2. What do you mean by the word Christianity? A belief that a certain human being whom we call Christ stood to a certain superhuman being whom we call God in a certain unique transcendental relationship which we call sonship.

3. What do you believe? A considerable number of things. That Mr. Blatchford is an honest man, for instance. And (but less firmly) that there is a place called Japan. If he means what do I believe in religious matters, I believe the above statement (answer 2) and a large number of other mystical dogmas, ranging from the mystical dogma that man is the image of God to the mystical dogma that all men are equal and that babies should not be strangled.

4. Why do you believe it? Because I perceive life to be logical and workable with these beliefs and illogical and unworkable without them.

Public debate with a little sassiness...doubt we'd see this debate in any newspaper columns today!

why i like chesterton (pt 2)

2006-08-16T20:30:00.000-05:00

In Wisdom and Innocence: A Life of G.K. Chesterton by Joseph Pearce, we learn of the romance growing between Gilbert and Frances along the road to marriage. We also get a glimpse into the sudden death of Frances' sister, Gertrude, and G.K.'s consoling words written to Frances during that time:

"I do not know what Gertrude's death was - I know that it was beautiful, for I saw it. We do not feel that it is so beautiful now - why? Because we do not see it now. What we see now is her absence: but her Death is not her absence, but her Presence somewhere else. That is what we knew was beautiful, as long as we could see it. Do not be frightened, dearest, by the slow inevitable laws of human nature, we shall climb back into the mountain of vision..." (41-42)

Death as beautiful; Such an interesting word to choose, yet eerily honest. The reality of the flesh and bones we call bodies. There is a distinct longing and vacancy in one's soul when someone close is taken away. Even though he didn't cling to any hope in a faith in God, these words reveal a yearning for explanation and something beyond "human nature".

why i like chesterton (pt 1)

2006-08-11T15:22:00.000-05:00

You may be familiar with the writings of G.K. Chesterton. He is one of the most quoted writers, speakers, artists in history after all. You may know that he is one of my favorite authors. His brilliance, his simplicity, his ability to speak for common people with common problems and common joys...for these and so much more I am grateful. He is able to bring true joy and real smiles to the face as he speaks of the most difficult and complex things to do describe with words.

I am reading an autobiography on him, entitled Wisdom and Innocence: A Life of G.K. Chesterton by Joseph Pierce...it would be a shame to keep it to myself, so pardon me while I open the curtain on some of his words, thoughts, and brilliance.

on religious liberty and tolerance

"The first thing to note, as typical of the modern tone, is a certain effect of toleration which actually results in timidity. Religious liberty might be supposed to mean that everybody is free to discuss religion. In practice it means that hardly anybody is allowed to mention it."
---(Autobiography, G.K. Chesterton, 238)

Written in 1937, these words still hold as much weight today, if not more.

from 850 newsletter (Jena Lee)

2006-07-20T15:46:00.000-05:00

There's something romantic about Africa. Throughout history, its people, its tragedies, its beauty and its wonders have caused outsiders to romanticize the continent. When Western explorers documented their first steps and journeys onto the shores of the African continent in the late 1800s, Americans read with wonder and intrigue about an untouched place of people, animals and land that exceeded the imagination. Even today, National Geographic captures stories of people who are exotic and beautiful. Travelers, photographers and wanderers have dreamed of visiting places that are contrary to and seemingly far removed from a Western lifestyle.

I remember my first thoughts of Africa. I, too, had romanticized it as a place of simplicity, poverty, culture and beauty. To many Americans, Africa has simply belonged in the travel magazines, in the headlines of the newspapers and in the argument for why American children should finish their dinners. I have found, though, that we tend to sentimentalize that which is different from us because we do not truly know a person or a place.

I am writing from a small village in East Africa, traveling with my colleagues from Jars of Clay. The band members, who are also the founders of Blood:Water Mission, have come to build relationships with people and to see the work of their growing organization.

We are living in a village where there is no running water. No electricity. The conditions are much less luxurious than most can imagine. We interact with people whose lives have been defined and held captive by extreme poverty and disease. Children are malnourished and most people subsist on less than a dollar a day. A one-room, mud-walled hut in a remote Kenyan village is drastically different than a furnished, air-conditioned, two-car-garage house in suburban America. A hole dug in the ground with a stick fence surrounding it does not look or feel anything like a porcelain, flushing toilet. Languages, landscape, food and traditions are so very different than what we are familiar with in the United States. It's easy to pick up the camera and capture those differences between us. And yet, no one in our group is talking about such things.

Despite all the obvious differences that exist between North America and Africa, our experiences here have shown us the beauty of our similarities. Jewish philosopher, Martin Buber, speaks about the I-Thou and I-It relationships. The I-Thou relationship occurs when two people see each other, simply, as people created by God in His image. There is no qualification of poor or rich or us or them. I-Thou sees the humanity and the divinity within each person. Conversely, I-It exists when a person sees the other as an object to be used to serve his or her interest. It gives a person permission to define, label and objectify the other person.

I've seen how our romanticizing of Africa has caused us to regard Africans as the It instead of the Thou. We have the tendency to come into these places as if we were in a Spielbergian wildlife park, seeing only the separating differences instead of the inviting similarities. We are horrified by the tragedy of poverty, which often estranges us more than connects us. When we focus only on the contrasts, we fail to see the other as a brother or a sister, as a reflection of the image of God, who is equally loved and valued by Him.

Seeing a person for who he or she truly is can be challenging because we are broken people who easily assume the hierarchy of importance, intelligence, development, materialism and position in the world. We feel better when we can put people in a box or under a label, usually underneath our own status. When we relate with our friends in Africa, it's easy to label them as poor and unfortunate, but that is only because we do not know them.

Imagine what the world look like if we could surpass the tendency to see someone as It, and instead see the sacred in every person. What if our response to suffering was a desire to see people for who they are and to learn from them about their experiences instead of making a one-sided attempt to heroically pull them out of their circumstances? It takes discipline of the heart and mind to treat others as Thou, but when this radical transformation occurs, we can no longer keep Africa in a place that is distant, strange and objectifying. Our friends may live in a world very different than our own, but when we look at and interact with one another, we begin to see a reflection of ourselves and of God in one another.

I feel as though we are experiencing a taste of that relationship right here in this village, where lasting friendships are being built between Americans and Kenyans. The differences and unfamiliar realities exist, but the communion of music, volleyball games, bellyaching laughter, prayer, dancing and meals filled with honest conversations overlooks them. When others become Thou to us, we can no longer romanticize the exotic and the unknown. We can simply celebrate the new lens through which we view, know and love one another.

Jena Lee is the executive director for Blood:Water Mission and contributed the reflections in the photo book Hope in the Dark by photojournalist Jeremy Cowart. The book is available from RELEVANT.

starting the day

2006-07-13T07:22:00.000-05:00

The LORD knows my heart, yet I live as though I must convince...I must pretend...I must please. Out of pure desires I put self and idols in place rather than trusting in God. Created in his image, freed by the LORD just as he delivered Israel from Egypt and slavery, yet my life too often reflects "my image" and bondage. Motivations are for personal gain or to equalize an idea of karma, and rarely reflect the true, earnest, pure desires of Jesus and the living God.

This may be the way it is today, but I start the day identifying these things and praying against them. Not to earn status with God or favor among men, but to reflect God's glory in this world and promote his kingdom instead of my own; to bring him glory and honor. As I am consumed with work and family, this and that--all good things--I pray for a still and steadfast heart, that I would overflow with God's goodness and mercy, for his sake and to his glory.

if i were in africa right now...

2006-06-19T14:11:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm not in Africa, but I'm thinking about it a lot because Jena from BWM and the Jars guys are in Kenya right now. Please take a moment to read some of their stories, and keep checking this link throughout the rest of the month.

http://bloodwatermission.blogspot.com/

new website is live

2006-05-16T14:33:00.000-05:00

I've been under the radar here, working feverishly as well as enjoying some good time with the fam over the weekend. Our new website is live at www.bloodwatermission.com, and we're fixing some glitches but overall it is off to a great start (except still a couple issues with the donate online function, of all things).

Sunday I flew to Detroit to play with Michael Olson at a church in Birmingham. We played 4 songs as part of the evening service, and I could write for awhile about many experiences in a 24 hour span...but for now, I must go. God is good...all the time!

fun fun fun

2006-05-04T05:42:00.000-05:00

What a fantastic weekend here...the birthday celebration squeezed in before the rains, and it was a blast to have Sam's friends (and ours) as well as some family joining us. We ordered 7 pizzas from one of the local favorites, which happened to be right along the route for the Full and 1/2 marathon going on Saturday morning--actually, not far from the end. The boss of the pizza shop helped me carry them across the street in front of runners, and I wondered if we may get jumped along the way.

My early half of the week has been spent in the studio with Mitch and the Andy's...Hubbard and Osenga. Andy H has been swamped with Little Big Town touring, so it was a pleasure to be able to record together again. Congrats to LBT, as their record was recently certified Gold! They're finishing up dates with John Mellencamp, and have a busy summer ahead.

The website is still coming along. It will be a joyful day when it has launched and has settled in across the net. I'm still having a good time, but I'm just anxious to get it out there so that people can start utilizing it. Its going to capture so much of what we're doing, as well as have the groundwork to build upon. One of the hard things is keeping information personal and relational, because everyone craves information, but not all enjoy digging deeper into it and getting feet a little wet.

websites, birthdays, ice cream, and gardens

2006-04-24T06:58:00.000-05:00

Random string of topics, eh. First off, I think the new Blood:Water Mission website will be launching this week...something I've been working diligently on for the past 6 weeks especially. As donor relations and development coordinator, much of it coincides with my work. I've been inputting all the content, working and reworking with our designers all of the navigational features, cleaning out our existing database of contacts so that we start with a good batch for the emailing tools, and trying hard to continue matching donors with communities in Africa (the long term challenge). All of this to say I am thrilled to finally get it out for all to see, use and share. More coming later this week as it hopefully moves forward.

In the birthday category, this week brings us to Sam's 3rd birthday. My how time flies! We spent Saturday putting together a new swingset and sandbox for him, giving him a chance to get acclamated this week and hopefully a little more freedom and desire to share for the party coming up. Kids and sharing...a constant reminder of how our hearts are bent toward the self:) I think we spent about 3 hours putting together the swingset, much longer than anticipated, but probably within reason. The main frustration was that we are missing a few bolts and such, and have to ask the manufacturor to send them so that we can finish the see-saw portion of the set. Sam is loving it all already, though, I am pleased to report.

Though we may have ice cream at the party, we are having homemade ice cream with our neighborhood group tomorrow night. The flavor of our choice to make and bring is yet to be determined, but we are reviewing the Ben and Jerry's ice cream recipe book to make the best choice. I'm so grateful for this group from our church, a great source of extending the vision and reality of our church into our hearts and the community around us.

And our garden is definitely taking shape. Over the weekend we planted our tomatoes and some herbs, and I'm excited to see the corn, lettuce and snap beans poking through the soil. We have a few more things to do, but I think most of the planning and planting is done. Now we wait...and pull a few weeds in the meantime.

little big town on leno tonight!

2006-04-17T08:43:00.000-05:00

Be sure to check out my friends in Little Big Town as they play on the Tonight Show w/ Jay Leno tonight!

krazy praise

2006-04-13T09:36:00.000-05:00

Back in the studio again with Ken L, Andy G, Ben S, Dave H, and JimmyJam for another edition of Krazy Praise. A couple of years ago we recorded Krazy Praise 1 and 2, and apparently they would like to release volume 3 in a print edition including a CD. Its fun being a dad while recording these songs, thinking about what gets Sam excited about singing along with songs. Any excuse to get together with these guys is a good one and one I look forward to; what a privilege to make music with them!

Speaking of Sam singing, his thing these days is to take songs he knows and make jibberish versions of them. Occasionally it leads to butchering hymns and the like, which we try to avoid, of course. He's also been playing lots of harmonica, carrying two (different keys, of course) around the house and switching back and forth. We introduced Buddy Greene to him last week, which features some brilliant harp playing and fun bluegrass.

I took Sam to the downtown library yesterday morning for story time, and it was so much fun watching him interact with the people and action. Looking into his eyes you can just see the wheels turning. JJ the lamb, the Spanish Fox, and Cedric the dragon all made appearances (they are puppets), and a ballerina from the Nashville Ballet Co. was the special guest. This library provides great opportunities to involve children (story time, marrionette shows, etc), and I always leave feeling like we don't use it to our full ability. He loves to get a new batch of books every week, old and new, and we spend a lot of time reading and rereading them with him. Favorites right now are Toot & Puddle, Curious George, and Lentil (Robert McCloskey character).

Consider

2006-04-06T05:47:00.000-05:00

Consider the sun, moon, planets, and stars, the distance set between them that keeps them set in motion in an organized and intentional manner.
Consider the air contents on earth: just the right mixture of oxygen, nitrogen, and other chemical elements to allow human life (as well as plant and animal life). Just a slight change in any of the percentages, and life turns into death.
Consider the tilt of the earth, the sipinning motion that keeps us anchored to the earth and provides seasons of life for creation. A slight change and all could burn up, freeze, or be set free from gravity...fun for a moment, perhaps.
"When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the starts, which you have set in place, What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?
Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.
You have given him dominion over the works of your hands; You have put all things under his feet...O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth." Psalm 8:3-6,9

I am overwhelmed that God cares for me, is faithful to me, has made promises that he loves to keep with me, and is committed to restoring me in the midst of bringing the new heavens and new earth to fruition one day soon.

spring is in the air

2006-03-30T12:37:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we spent some time in the yard preparing our garden for the coming season. For those who may just be jumping on board, we got our feet wet with a 16 x 20 garden last year, growing snap beans, carrots, zucchini, corn, and oh so many tomatoes. We learned a lot and have been putting together improved strategy for this year, as well as expanding to 20 x 20. We've already started some broccoli, peppers (jalepeno, green, etc), cantaloupe, and a few others inside...some will be transplanted into the garden this weekend, and our garden will take shape by April 15th (the supposed last frost date here). We'll be trying strawberries, lettuce, spinach, corn, and some other things throughout the year...and we're also trying to do better with repeated sowings in order to have production throughout the summer and not just for a short time for each food. More to come as the seasons progress.

I had a great time with some brothers this morning being reminded that every man and woman is made in the image of God. Christians should be known for responding accordingly, giving respect and love to all regardless of creed, race, politics, or cultural inclinations. Yeah, this sounds great, but it is so difficult to live. It takes something beyond my ability, and accomplishes things beyond my expectations. This is where God leaves signposts and displays his power and love, and what a privilege to walk in it. It gives purpose to every moment. It gives tangible evidence of God's mercy and grace, though only in part so that we longingly yearn for the new heavens and new earth to come.

What is a great way to start living this out? These brothers and I are taking part in a little exercise: to try not to gossip, deceive, boast, put others down, and defend ourselves (for our own reputations) over the next week...at least to notice our tendencies and not feed them further. This cannot just be to put notches in our belts or feel good (I'm good at that already). It is a way to glimpse into the human heart and understand a little more of the depth of God's love for us...and to be light for others in the midst of this. Perhaps you'll try this as well, with right intentions...

World Water Day is Today!

2006-03-22T11:25:00.000-06:00

Today, March 22, is World Water Day. It's probably not something that is pre-marked on most people's daytimers or photo-filled calendars. But it might be something you would like to pencil in because it really is important and it affects about 1.1 billion people in our world today. It still shocks me to the core that there are over a billion people who lack access to safe, clean drinking water. It's absurd, actually. There are millions of unnecessary deaths because of water-borne diseases. This crisis mostly affects women and children, who must walk miles every day to carry buckets of filthy water upon their heads, knowing all too well, that if they don't drink the water, they might die - and if they do drink the water, they might die. What kind of choice is that? Clearly, it's no choice at all.

There's a movement out there (small, but extremely committed) to end this global water crisis. I think many people feel as if they have nothing to offer, or no way to actually be a part of the change. But when $1 provides a year of water for an African, for instance, it's clear that everyone has something to offer. I believe that if we can rally this nation to care about this issue, we will see a dramatic decline in the water crisis. Through Blood:Water Mission, we have already seen transformation in hundreds of communities in sub-Saharan Africa. It's an amazing privilege to enter into the lives and struggles of friends an ocean away. As Dan Haseltine says, a huge body of water has kept us apart from Africa, but water is also the very thing that can connect us.

On World Water Day, I hope you take a moment to thank God for the gift of clean water in your own lives and that you join us in praying for those who struggle daily to live because they lack the very element that they need most for survival.

Jena Lee and everyone at Blood:Water Mission

For more, go to WORLD WATER DAY 2006

words on your heart

2006-03-22T06:56:00.000-06:00

About a month ago I joined some brothers to set out on a journey of discipleship, meeting weekly. To some, the very word raises hairs and makes you want to turn and run. What I have enjoyed most thus far is the joy of having God's word on my heart. That may not sound exciting...especially because it involves memory verses. But whether you are a believer in Christ or not, try taking some verses of God's word, writing them on a card, and referring to it throughout the day (actually speaking the words), and see if it doesn't alter your focus throughout the day.
I find great encouragement through this. My focus is shifted away from my own "kingdom" and toward God's promises. The same promises He made to His children in Israel, to the early church, are true today. Cultures change, generations pass, yet God is God and continues to create for His glory and His purposes. Even if you don't believe this, and perhaps think I'm crazy, give it a try and believe it for a day to see how life might be different.
Living in this way is a walk in faith that my actions today (how I steward my time, money, words, thoughts) have greater implications than I imagine, far beyond my own satisfaction and peace. These are graces God gives us to see Him, touch Him , and experience Him...the tangible glimpses in the midst of faith. And this is not for us to pat ourselves on the back and feel good, but to walk in His radiance and His glory.

still there?

2006-03-17T09:10:00.000-06:00

I'm not quite sure who still reads this, as I feel like I have failed in utilizing this blog to its potential (and previous usage)...perhaps some of you are still there. Anyways, I have been trying to reacquaint myself with the art of journaling by hand, which has at least temporarily taken priority over blog entries. With that progressing, I am going to try to juggle both, but appreciate your patience and desire to check in occasionally even in my frequent absence.

I had the privilege of speaking to the students of Franklin Classical School yesterday...primarily about Blood:Water Mission, but also connecting it into my daily life at home, in music, in BWM work, and beyond. Thanks to George Grant and Matt Ruff for making this possible, and it was great to see them, though brief. It is a challenge each and every day for any person to wake with the hope of the Gospel and the drive to bring it to bear in this world. But it is the only hope...and it is the only way love can truly run rampant and beautifully throughout this world. May it be so.

the washington institute

2006-03-08T16:13:00.000-06:00

Please take a moment to go to the Washington Institute's website for some words on Blood:Water Mission as well as other great resources. It is great to see Steve Garber and others putting together some fantastic material and thought into faith, vocation, and culture...seeing life flowing together rather than disjointed in spirituality, practicality, and reality. Sign up for the newsletter while you're at it!

busyness

2006-03-06T06:40:00.000-06:00

Busy-ness affects the spirit in so many ways. Instead of living in full intentionality (living "according to the Spirit") I switch to managing well (or not so well) and occasionally realize I've lost control (what I internally dread). How does it often look on the outside?
Intentionality is focused on others; Managing well brings myself and my priorities/needs
into the picture; Losing control puts all the focus on myself, and whether or not I am doing what I need to do for my benefit and my satisfaction and my idea of "peace".

How easily the human heart and mind shift from other-centeredness to self. That is, except for one Man, who in His darkest hour continued a life of intentionality and brought life through death--the only true hope to this world.

olympics vs 24

2006-02-21T22:13:00.000-06:00

Tonight we actually sat down and watched the olympics for a bit...something we haven't done as much as I thought we would. It may be because of the time difference, lack of "heroic stories", or it could also be because we are in the middle of the third season of 24. Yes, we are gradually working our way through the back story, thanks to friends who've graciously lent us the DVD's.

We've grown quite fond of watching tv this way. Its one thing to leave out the commercials. Its another to avoid the long stretch of the season and between episodes. I don't know if we'll catch up during the latest season, but we are making headway and enjoying it greatly. Though we haven't been big movie-goers or movie-renters in the past couple of years, for some reason this has really caught on.

And back to figure skating...go USA!

king leopold's ghost

2006-02-12T09:28:00.000-06:00

I just finished reading King Leopold's Ghost by Adam Hochschild. This was a great follow up to the last book I read, A Continent for the Taking by Howard French, though I'm kind of going backwards through history, I realize. After learning much about the past 10-20 years in the Congo and west Africa, I now have the context of King Leopold and his terrifying reign over the Congo at the end of the 19th century...and I can see how it has moved from generation to generation. He wanted to make a name for Belgium in the age of colonialism, and found the perfect place. It is indeed a story of terror, greed, and heroic acts, as the subtitle offers.

I am in awe that probably 10 million people lost their lives during his 10-15 year reign in the Congo; that he made such a fortune and was able to keep it from others, even after he was exposed; that the furnace in his palace raged for 7 or 8 days straight, burning any official records that may have information regarding the Congo; that today he is still mostly regarded as a pretty amazing king with brilliant tactics; that this story is only one of many regarding the "struggles" between the natives across Africa and the rest of the world at the height of colonialism. No matter how the wrong actions were, they have occurred for generations and will continue to take place this side of Christ's return.

We live in a messy world, a sick world, a beautiful world, a difficult world...and we have purpose and place in it, made in the image of our Creator and with the ability to glorify Him. To that end we must live.

which hat(s) to wear today

2006-02-07T14:08:00.000-06:00

We had a fantastic evening celebrating Blood:Water Mission's 2005 activities and what lies ahead...Saturday night a group of about 100 gathered in the barn at Deer Valley Farm outside Franklin to reflect and prepare, giving thanks to God for His faithfulness beyond expectation and belief. Jars played a few songs as part of the program, and we also heard some encouraging reports from Jena, our director, and Milton Ochieng', a student at Vanderbilt from a village in Kenya where we'll be working. What a privilege to be a part of this work, waking up each day with anticipation and hope.

I enjoyed playing some bass yesterday and today on another project with Mitch D. He's been working on the Jars record, but with them on the road this month he is squeezing in some other projects. So good to be with friends making music. This morning I was with Matthew Jones working on a song that will be on a benefit CD for Wes King coming out soon. Sounds like a bunch of friends have put together a CD recutting his songs as a way to celebrate him and encourage him in the midst of a long, exhausting, and almost life-taking battle with cancer. I'm so glad he is still with us, though the recovery is ongoing. Please pray for continued strength and healing for him.

Time for a little r & r, but wanted to check in. I'll be busy with Blood:Water Mission work the next few days, with a little music later in the week.

a carpenter and a president

2006-02-01T06:52:00.000-06:00

For months I've had a special project on the to-do list. Cari loves to look through magazines and books to get ideas for rooms in our house. Sometimes they are very simple, cost effective, and easy to do...and other times they get pretty involved. Well, I finally tackled our built-in bookshelves in the Sam's playroom.

I built them from MDF and Pine, and they included 2 full height bookcases framing in an existing window, as well as a shorter "bench" shelf under the window for reading and playing. I was so exhausted after the full day of work, and it was a joy to work with my hands and put the carpenter hat on for a brief time. Somehow it has taken longer to paint the built-ins than it did to build them, which was a surprise and frustration for both of us...we can't wait to see everything in them and the room transformed into a better space.

I started this entry this morning, and had to quickly take a break because I received a last minute invite to go hear President Bush speak at the Opry House. A friend of mine could not go and was looking for someone to use the ticket...and I happily said yes. Over the past several years I have been privileged to see and even meet people in different areas of the political world in D.C. Though it is easy to become cynical of this and that in politics, I always take the President's role seriously. I firmly believe no one can sit in the chair of the Oval Office day after day without feeling the weight of their decisions and work. Whether you stand behind or against the politics and decisions, the position and the person in the chair demand respect.

I am thankful for the way faith is interwoven into this country by our forefathers (and continuing into today). Though America is by no means a Christian country, I know that it is one of the few where Christian principles are freely played out and the world is able to see the fruit of Gospel-centered living. Faith doesn't guarantee prosperity; Faith doesn't even guarantee safety or freedom; But faith is a backbone and foundation that is firm and sustaining to whatever it supports.

I pray for our President, and for those around him. It cannot be easy. It must be exhausting. It is very messy, because it deals with all the rights and wrongs of our nation and of the world. Even his closest confidants cannot understand the pressure and weight of the role...and yet I trust that God is bigger than our president, than our government, than our best laid plans. I will not settle for optimism, left to human hands...I stand on the promises of hope, grace, mercy, faithfulness, faith, and love of the Gospel of Christ.

public speaking

2006-01-21T14:39:00.000-06:00

A couple of nights ago I had the pleasure of speaking to about 100-150 people about Blood:Water Mission and specifically my experiences in South Africa in fall 2004. A friend, Ashley Lovell, is headed to South Africa in February to work with our friends at the Living Hope Community Center as a drug and alcohol abuse counselor. The evening was an opportunity for friends, family, and others to hear great music and gain a little more insight into the work she is entering...and how to faithfully support her. Andy and Jill Gullahorn (Jill Phillips), Dave Hunt, Chad Cates, and Laurianne Cates provided the music...so good to see these friends and hear some of their songs.

It had been quite awhile since my last speaking engagement, so I spent some of Tuesday and Wednesday preparing. First I read through a lot of my journal from my time in South Africa...this was a rich time of reflecting on a life-changing journey. Some of it is here in the Blood:Water Mission website. The next challenge was fitting my story/stories into the context of the evening...sharing what would be most beneficial and timely for this opportunity.

In my speaking engagements, whether in a room of 10 or 500, I have realized the importance of remembering and reminding. As I take the time to remember the weight of a moment or event in my past, I remind myself of the most important things in life...and I find myself reminding others of these things, too. My heart is still so tender, and sharing my transforming moments still brings shuddering from within and tears to my eyes. Unless I force myself to occasionally sit in these things, my heart and flesh are too easily wooed by the things of the world, far from the messy mix of joy and suffering, laughter and sorrow. But this is the uncomfortable glorious place of the Gospel and its hope.

I invite you to frequently check out Ashley's blog to keep up with her thoughts and experiences. We all have stories to tell, and each one is important for others to hear.

the fruit of one life

2006-01-16T09:45:00.000-06:00

Today I honor my grandfather, J. Marion Rigg, who passed away last Monday morning. We were able to go to Roseville, IL this past week and spend days with family and close friends to mourn his death and celebrate his life. I rejoice that he left peacefully and anxiously, awaiting the opportunity to be restored completely and meet Jesus apart from the flesh. We will miss him so much, yet we will continue to see the fruit of his life for years to come.

still playing

2006-01-06T11:23:00.000-06:00

We're finishing up the first week recording the next Jars project. What a week! We're blessed to be in a studio atmosphere that allows everything to be ready to play when needed. It is freeing and makes it easy to let the creative juices flow. Still no comment on the sound...it is all over the map, but honing in. We're about halfway through the songs, and having so much fun.

I just finished reading A Continent for the Taking: The Tragedy and Hope of Africa by Howard French. He's a New York Times journalist who offers reflections and testimony from his years spent reporting from West Africa, particularly Nigeria, Zaire, DR Congo, and Mali. I recommend it to anyone wanting to get a sense of some of the faces and situations, as well as the distant and recent history that is a part of the Africa we know today. My only criticism is that the book ends without a hopeful picture as he leaves his assignment in Africa...you almost have to read the introduction/prologue again in order to remind yourself of the hopeful intentions of French. A conclusion or some sort of epilogue would better propel the reader into action instead of paralysis.

Happy New Year

2006-01-02T06:54:00.000-06:00

We are new years eve bums, I admit. Once again, as the clock struck 10:00pm, we rang in the new year with those 2 hours ahead of us in Venzuela, Chile, some of Antartica, and New Brunswick. We had the excuse of driving 10 hours that day--and Sam only slept the last hour of the drive--but I have a feeling that we have begun a tradition regardless.

Sam was a joy throughout Christmas, really getting into opening gifts, looking at Christmas lights/decorations, and trying to understand that the point of Christmas is the birth of Jesus.

Today I'm starting about 2 weeks in the studio with jars of clay to work on the next record...so good to be with these guys, and a perfect way to start the year. Gotta go play some bass...

Still an outrage

2005-12-20T20:44:00.000-06:00

Zimbabwe Family Mourns AIDS Death
Cousin’s illness gave the author an insight into the desperate state of Zimbabwe’s healthcare system.

By J.J. Zhou in Harare (Africa Reports)

He called me on my mobile two days after the police had flattened his home in the Harare suburb of Mbare during President Robert Mugabe's now notorious Operation Murambatsvina [Drive Out The Rubbish].

He had nowhere to go, he said, and had spent the previous two wintry nights on the side of the road with his four-year old son. His wife had deserted him earlier when the ravages of Zimbabwe's urban poverty became worse than unbearable.

I told him he could come to my place. He was my first cousin and in our Shona society that meant he was family, and there was no way I could refuse to help him in his hour of need.

A four square metre wooden shack had been his home for a long time, so its destruction by the government was deeply traumatic - as it was for at least 700,000 other Zimbabweans made homeless by Drive Out The Rubbish. He had been orphaned when he was a schoolboy back in the mid-Eighties and did not have a rural home to go back to, which is what the ruling ZANU PF government suggested to those whose homes it wrecked.

Unfortunately, I did not have much space so I could only offer him the use of my garage, which had a small cooking stove and a door with access to our house and the bathroom. Down the phone, I sensed his relief. The garage was a much more comfortable and spacious dwelling than any he had lived in since he lost his full-time job 15 years earlier.

Once he settled in with his son, he tried his best to live a normal life. He would cycle every morning to the market where he touted for odd jobs. Initially, he took his son with him, but that became impractical. So we said our maid would look after the boy, a frolicsome, cheerful child who enjoyed playing in the street with the other kids.

Then my cousin's life changed dramatically. One morning he woke up with half his face covered in a rash of ugly blisters and purple splodges. After my doctor had conducted tests came the shocking news: my cousin had herpes but was also HIV-positive. The sores were symptoms of Karposi’s sarcoma, a skin cancer that is one of the most insidious opportunistic infections associated with the HIV virus.

We were all completely shattered. To make things worse, my cousin was soon completely immobilised as immense pain developed in his spine. He now spent his days lying on his back, and could not sit up at all. His meagre market earnings were no more. This badly dented his pride since he wanted to work and contribute to his upkeep and that of his son, no matter how menial the task he found at the market.

More and more frequently, he called me in the middle of the night to take him to the toilet because he had severe diarrhoea. He lost his appetite and went for days without eating.

The hospital did a CD4 cell count, an indicator of the strength of an individual's immune system which goes down as HIV progresses. His was 83, way under the benchmark 200, the point at which doctors put people with AIDS on anti-retroviral drug.

The hospital said they would get the drugs, but he would first have to undergo weeks of counselling before they would administer the first dose. This was so difficult for me to understand, because you did not need to be a medical expert to see that if he was to be saved at all he needed them immediately.

I soon discovered that the hospital had in fact run out of anti-retroviral drugs and that because of the pariah status of my country, 500 per cent inflation and a dire shortage of foreign exchange they could not be procured easily.

As my cousin waited, we could see him slowly losing his zest for life. Often he talked about the hopelessness he felt for his son’s future. He was literally surviving on water. He did not even have appetite for fruit. The doctor gave him stronger and stronger painkillers.

When the anti-retrovirals finally came he lit up with hope. We all thought, given our lack of expertise about HIV/AIDS, that the effect would be immediate, but 14 days after his first dose there was no improvement. He had not responded positively to medication. The doctor put him on morphine, because his Kaposi’s sarcoma had advanced badly. His back pain had become worse.

The hospital refused to admit him, saying he was terminally ill. We did not have enough money to hire a private nurse. He asked for crutches to help him get to the toilet.

My cousin talked more and more about his son’s future and began cursing Robert Mugabe. He had been a staunch supporter of Mugabe and the ruling ZANU-PF party, so much so that even when the majority of people living in Zimbabwe's towns and cities swung to the opposition Movement for Democratic Change he remained firmly behind Mugabe.

No one knows exactly what he had got up to in Mbare during the ugly events preceding the violent March 2005 general elections. I think it is possible he was a member of one of Mugabe’s vigilante groups who terrorised the ordinary people of Mbare who showed open support for the opposition.

When he moved in, it struck me that he had never imagined in his wildest dreams that Mugabe could be so cruel as to destroy people’s houses. It was not my cousin of old. He had seen the bulldozers for himself and military men beating up old women who could not understand why their homes were being razed.

Eventually he began messing his bed, an eventuality we had anticipated but dreaded. I thought there were limits to what I, his cousin, should be obliged to do. However, I could not ask our maid to clean him up and for cultural reasons my wife could never go anywhere near him.

Care fatigue was setting in. We asked other family members for help, but they were too busy with their lives to spare the time. I desperately sought someone to share the task of cleaning him regularly. I found his nephew, his sister’s son. He was duty bound to sit through what were now clearly his uncle’s death throes.

At the end, my cousin literally died in my arms as we were cleaning him, still hoping the hospital would be merciful enough to admit him and give him expert care in his last hours.

At the moment he died, his son was playing, as usual, with other kids on the street. It has not yet registered in his young mind what had happened to his father. We have taken on my cousin's boy as our own second son. I now have to prepare mentally and spiritually for the day when my new son will ask me what caused his real father to leave this earth.

Blood:Water Mission Christmas

2005-12-16T10:26:00.000-06:00

From an email going out today...

As Christmas approaches and the end of the year follows, we’d like to share some opportunities with you:
First, we invite you to view our Christmas card...an opportunity to reflect on the incredible year that is coming to a close. http://www.bloodwatermission.com/ecard

From this card you will have the opportunity to share it with friends and family, as well as continue to support the work ahead. Every contribution given in the month of December will be matched by a corporate donor up to $25,000! Please consider making Blood:Water Mission a recipient of your end-of-the-year giving.

Also, many of you have asked about giving to Blood:Water Mission as Christmas gifts for friends and family. We’ve provided a gift card and some pictures on our website to help facilitate this: http://www.bloodwatermission.com/christmas.

Thank you for joining us on this journey. We wish you a warm and blessed Christmas season.

Your friends at Blood:Water Mission

new material

2005-12-13T10:30:00.000-06:00

Last week and this week I've been working with Jars on new material...it is the most focused time I've had with them all year, and it is very refreshing to spend so much time with them. We're basically giving acoustic/stripped down demos life as a band, seeing how they translate with more instruments involved. The actual recording starts in early January, and the goal is to get songs to a good place so that everyone is on the same page when we get in the studio. I've already been asked, "What is the next record going to sound like?", and I honestly don't know yet. There are songs all across the roadmap, and more songs than will actually be on the record. We're just seeing where they go at this point.

Tonight our neighborhood group is going caroling at a nursing home in our area, and will get together afterwards for a little Christmas party. I haven't gone caroling in such a long time, and Sam has never been. I'm sure the kids will bring some excitement to things, as always! I'll give a report in the coming days.

children in an upside down world

2005-12-06T06:30:00.000-06:00

I love the writings of G.K. Chesterton. The second-most quoted person in the English language other than Shakespeare, he had the ability to speak and write eloquently and pointedly. He was not afraid to hit the debate table, even with the toughest challengers of his day (arguably with the greatest thinkers of the past 2-300 years). I often ponder why I enjoy his perspective of the world--and his ability to bring it to life through words. Each time I come to the same conclusion. He saw the upside-down nature of the world, the presence of paradox, and instead of running from it or pretending it wasn't there, he brought it to life and peace. True faith in Christ leaves me sitting in a place that isn't always comfortable and demands more than I can understand or do. And the greatest gift is that I am not alone, for God has provided His Spirit and His Word...and I should have the greatest confidence in these things, particularly His promises.

A child has the ability to sit in paradox and mystery a little longer than an adult. It seems the older you get, the more you think you've figured it out--yet the more you pursue to further understand. Ahhh, the irony. When Christ validates the presence--better yet the importance--of children, He says this: "Whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it." Children are able to trust without knowing, love without understanding, and believe without seeing more than me. Chesterton helps me sit in these words a little deeper. When I read his essays, stories, letters, and poetry, I feel like I'm looking at the world through the eyes of a child. And I begin to trust without knowing, love without understanding, and believe without seeing just a little bit more.

almost there

2005-12-01T06:44:00.000-06:00

I've almost completed Robert Murray M'Cheyne's design for reading through the Bible in one year...something I've never accomplished, and in the process I've found some pages and passages I'd never before read throughout my life. Why the M'Cheyne schedule? Who is he?

Robert Murray M'Cheyne was born in Edinburgh in 1813, living a short 30 years before his death. He was a passionate preacher of the word, with a beautiful approach to loving and serving his parish...some of the same things I've grown to love from Thomas Chalmers (one of his teachers and mentors). Early in his pastoral ministry, a heart difficulty was discovered, preventing him from preaching because his body simply could not handle it. He resolved to continue to serve his congregation and the community in the midst of such trials.

One of his priorities was to encourage his people--and himself--to read the Bible. In his words to a young man, "You read your Bible regularly, of course; but do try and understand it, and still more to fell it. Read more parts than one at a time. For example, if you are reading Genesis, read a Psalm also; or if you are reading Matthew, read a small bit of an epistle also. Turn the Bible into prayer...this is the best way of knowing the meaning of the Bible, and of learning to pray." He developed a scheme for daily reading that takes readers through the New Testament and Psalms twice each year, and the rest of the Bible once. In many instances I have been found myself reading the same words in different places in the Bible at the same time...an intentionality of M'Cheyne's to connect the Gospel story from Genesis to Revelation...to have ongoing context in whatever passage you are reading.

A helpful tool has been For the Love of God by D.A. Carson. It is a 2 volume collection stemming from M'Cheyne's chart of daily readings. He ties together the reading material from each day with a big-picture, contextual summary...giving more life to the words. I highly recommend this, and plan to start over again January 1st, this time stretching it out over the next 2 years to continue along the path but gain more focus on the passages (the one-year approach is great, but moves very fast!).

Day of Thanks

2005-11-24T16:44:00.000-06:00

I'm thankful for my family, beyond explanation and comprehension.
I'm thankful for this house, and the stories already experienced within these walls.
I'm thankful for time with extended family over this weekend, for the opportunity to feast and fellowship.
I'm thankful for my work, both in making music as well as trying to love people across the ocean more and more.
I'm thankful for our church, which has been part of a revolutionary year for me and our family. Its vision is beyond human reach, yet beautiful to experience in part...as it should be.
I'm thankful for friends, from years past and from yesterday. True community is a journey, and it takes the effort of all to continue along the path...and some forgiveness...and some courage...and patience. They all--and my family--have a part in who I am.
So much more, but that is enough to sit in for a long time. Happy Thanksgiving!

preparation

2005-11-21T19:41:00.000-06:00

We have the joy of hosting some family this weekend for Thanksgiving, complete with celebrating Christmas as well. Unfortunately it is just not as easy as it used to be going from house to house during a long trip home around Christmas and New Years Eve...ahh the days of old--and being younger (read my last post). We have so much to be thankful for, and not just the stuff on the surface that looks nice and happy. More on that in a couple of days...

I've been making my way through Resident Aliens, published about 15 years ago. I've heard much about this book, and read other articles/essays by Hauerwas and Willimon over the years. I'm not sure why I picked it up now, other than I saw it on a friend's shelf (as if I don't have enough waiting to be read on my own) and figured "Why not?". So far I have been pretty impressed by the focus on the importance of the church in our world. It is so easy to keep a gaze on self/family, or to put all weight into politics, work, or organizations in the community. But we have to remember that the church--as it was intended to be--lives out the only hope that gives sustainability and longevity in this world. History reveals this, though the church has by no means been innocent and perfect in that time. In fact, the reality that the church has had its ugly moments yet endured and has become even stronger is revelation of something unique to it...not to glorify actions or excuse them, but to recognize the faithfulness of a loving Creator, the love of a Bridegroom for His bride.
I've been busy working on spreadsheets and numbers, helping put into place a fund development plan to go hand in hand with our budget for 2006. It has been an incredible year for Blood:Water Mission, with miracles abounding in the midst of fragile human hands giving whatever they can. We desire to be good stewards of this, and recognize that it is impossible left to ourselves. Please continue to pray for transformation in my heart, your heart, throughout the US, and especially in Africa...the HIV/AIDS crisis is numbing and too big, yet God's grace and mercy are so evident in its midst. And give thanks, for God is constantly moving deeply for His glory in these things.

31 and counting

2005-11-16T13:17:00.000-06:00

31 today...with a sore shoulder from sleeping on it wrong and weariness from a crazy 3-4 days, I'm definitely feeling older. Wiser? Not sure yet, but I'm definitely learning more and more about life and the world we live in. With less fear. With more hope. With a gaze slightly less on myself--maybe on a good day.

We celebrated with lunch as a family at Sam and Zoe's, a coffee/sandwich joint near our favorites Baja Burrito and Calypso Cafe. I've eaten there many times on studio days, but have been anxious to introduce it to Cari and Sam. I think we're making pizza for dinner, and Cari made some genuine ice cream sandwiches (with real cookies, from a Ben and Jerry's recipe) for dessert. My ice cream fix continues to grow with age...

The past few days I've spent a fair amount of time working with Neilson Hubbard and others on some Glen Phillips tunes. Glenn was part of Toad the Wet Sprocket, an influential band to Jars and the music scene overall. He's working on some material toward another record, and I've had the joy of spending a couple of days with him and making some music. Hopefully there will be more in store once these are done.

longing for restoration

2005-11-08T06:30:00.000-06:00

I was able to be participate in part of the board retreat for Blood:Water Mission over the weekend, and I am in awe of God's crafting of the board and how one weekend can be so beneficial. For one thing, it is amazing that all 9 current members (many from outside Nashville) were able to be in one room at the same time. For another, what an encouragement to see the felt burdens of running an organization shared between a group of people rather than a few individuals. I am excited to hear more about what lies ahead, but left midway through the retreat completely encouraged and revived.

I've been learning and relearning and relearning (constantly) about what it really means to long for the restoration of all things...that what God said was "very good" will one day be made new and complete again. My work with Blood:Water Mission gives me an opportunity to work toward this. But too often I settle for my own agenda and goals, which fall blatantly short of the vision for God's restoration. I'd rather focus on making sure I have all my ducks in a row, and that I'm getting along with everybody. These things contain goodness, yet they lack in true fulfillment and grind against faithful living. Yesterday I had a hurtful interaction with a neighborhood friend, who for various reasons has been living on next to nothing, eating next to nothing, and has barely kept a roof over his head for the past 2 months. He's experiencing some of the darkest emotional and physical suffering that I've seen, and I left our (a friend was with me) interaction with him listening to him yell in anger with hateful words.

I bring up this situation not to exploit a friend (and forgive me if I fail in this), but to show the reality of the heart of every man and woman, and the reality of how hard it is to love well. As we walked to the car and drove away, I was mad, frustrated, and a little fearful. These emotions are a revelation that things are not as they should be, and that the only hope we have is that one day all things will be made new...restored...completed. Unless we open ourselves up to experience and feel the pains of the world, we likely have a very small view of the world and God's intentions and desires for us. What a tragedy considering the heights, the depths, and power of the love of God, especially in the blood that Jesus shed on the cross and His resurrection from the dead.

Variety of topics

2005-11-03T20:22:00.000-06:00

Halloween came and went. We left the lights on and had some candy ready for any trick-or-treaters. This was our first time in this house (we weren't home last year), and we didn't know what to expect. We had some of Sam's friends stop by in fun costumes, and ended up with 2 groups of about 25-30 kids each coming by as well. Unfortunately only about 4 or 5 brave souls were in these groups, willing to wear costumes as they asked for candy. The other 40 just walked up in their street clothes, stuck out their backpacks, and said thanks as they left. A majority of the "kids" were probably in jr. high or high school. I think next year we will post a sign on our door saying "candy for costumes only", because something about it all just didn't seem right.

Our neighbors are very gracious. Once again, we borrowed their tiller as we spent 2 days overhauling our yard/garden. We tilled up two large areas of the yard, trying to start over with new grass seed in places that were filled with weeds. We also tilled up the garden (and expanded it to about 20' x 20'), completing our successful first year of gardening. Looking back we enjoyed carrots, tomatoes, snap beans, zucchini...and have plans to make it much better next year now that our feet are wet.

This weekend is the Blood:Water Mission board retreat. Though I'm not on the board of directors, I'll be around for much of the time to speak on all that has been going on as well as help with things. I can't wait to see these friends all in one room and share this brief time together...if only we could do it more often. Praise be to God for giving us all that we need and giving us such a beautiful longing for what we can't yet have, but will be restored one day!

I've been reading the new spy-thriller by favorite author Vince Flynn, Consent to Kill. And I'm done with this post so that I can hopefully finish it tonight!

the pantagraph...and my "fate"

2005-10-27T14:45:00.000-05:00

Here's an article about the Jars concert in my hometown this weekend (in the local paper). I appreciate the extra attention, but I'm not sure what to think of the word choice they used regarding me: "the fate of rural Towanda native and bass player Aaron Sands".

After huge pop success, Jars of Clay
strips down Christian sound

By Dan Craft
dcraft@pantagraph.com

When it rains, it pours, filling those Jars of Clay to overflowing.

That was the metaphor that might have been used nine years ago, when America's then-hottest Christian pop group passed through B-N's two main concert venues twice in nine months.

The first was at ISU's Redbird Arena, opening for Michael W. Smith; the second, at ISU's Braden Auditorium, headlining an oddball split sacred/secular bill with the Samples and the Gufs.

After that: a dry spell (though the group did pass through venues around us, including their last area showing, five years ago, at the Peoria Civic Center).

Now this: a concert Saturday night at Bloomington's Second Presbyterian Church, the band's Illinois connections still intact (save one -- see accompanying story for the fate of rural Towanda native and bass player Aaron Sands).

With two big openers, Chris Rice and Sara Groves, the concert's 600 seats went fast, according to a church spokeswoman. A waiting list is being compiled for those interested in scooping up any returned tickets.

In an interview during a concert sound-check on the road, founding member Charlie Lowell admits that 1996 was then and 2005 is now.

Then was the era of huge Top 40 crossover radio hits like "Flood," and songs on movie soundtracks like "The Long Kiss Goodnight" and "Hard Rain," and tunes on the tube, giving a beat to everything from "One Life to Live" to "Felicity."

"On our last couple of records, I think we've grown more and more comfortable with who we are and what our musical inclinations are," says the keyboardist who met fellow bandmates Dan Haseltine, Steve Mason and Matt Odmark when they were all students at Greenville College in Southern Illinois, circa 1993.

"We're really embracing our organic acoustic side, and worrying less about radio accessibility," Lowell adds, referring to that 1995-98 heyday when it was sometimes difficult to tell which side of the sacred/secular fence the band stood on.

"I think part of the experience of the radio thing was feeling the pressure to follow up the first album (1995's "Jars of Clay") with more of the same. And we spent the next couple records kind of doing that, as far as where the music was going."

In a Pantagraph interview five years ago, Odmark admitted that the result was "a strange situation. And, I think, also a pretty confusing situation to a lot of people and promoters."

He called that situation "a two-headed game we've ended up playing, and it's made for some interesting experiences and caused its share of confusion. Because of our single ('Flood'), which was played on pop and modern rock radio, we recognized that our audience is more than just church youth group kids."

Which led to the not-particularly-successful touring with secular rock bands like the Samples and the Gufs.

Fans of all the groups were a little confused, didn't always know how to react and even split the audience down the middle in some cases.

"That crossover issue was tough," Lowell admits, five years after Odmark's assessment. "Some people were excited about it, and some were offended, and misunderstood us, and made judgments."

He says the experience "forced us to come to grips with who Jars of Clay are and who they are not -- not who the church wants us to be or who mainstream radio wants us to be. We said to heck with trying to keep everyone happy -- that's impossible. We were forced to sort of say, 'at the end of the day, we want to be able to sleep good at night and make good art that challenges listeners, and to be a strong band."

Today, Lowell says, everyone's sleeping good.

The quartet's new album, "Redemption Songs," featuring JOC reworking traditional hymns, taking their original lyrics and adapting them to a new sound.

Basically, says Lowell, "we're taking the words and writing new music -- making them musically relevant. It gives them a fighting a chance, and the lyrics are still unbelievable."

Saturday's concert in Bloomington will reflect that new direction for Jars of Clay, as well as take the audience on a trip back in time through the band's history, with some possible interaction, says Lowell, between them and opening acts Chris Rice and Sara Groves.

One thing is for certain, he adds: a full 10 years into their professional existence, the world has changed for Jars of Clay -- but all four members are still intact, no mean feat for a decade-old band in any musical genre.

In 1995, he says, "we were just a bunch of college guys" who'd gotten together a few years earlier, clicked musically and found themselves on top of their world.

No one was married. No one had kids.

Life was simpler then.

"We were a brand new band," says Lowell. "We didn't even know each other that well, and a lot of things were going on at once -- trying to be friends and then, unexpectedly, business partners.

"But we're still around and we still have a pretty decent fan base. And now the challenge is finding the balance between our careers and our families as different things pull at us."

Jars' bass player helping others through mission

By Dan Craft
dcraft@pantagraph.com

TOWANDA -- Jars of Clay's Illinois roots run naturally deep.

The band's core membership -- Dan Haseltine, Charlie Lowell, Steve Mason and Matt Odmark -- first crossed paths at Greenville College in Southern Illinois.

Mason himself hails halfway between there and Bloomington-Normal, from Decatur.

But as Pantagraph JOC fans know, there's an even closer connection to the area: bass player Aaron Sands, who grew up in rural Towanda and graduated from Normal Community High School in 1993.

The son of Larry and Anita Sands, Sands joined the band in 1995 and debuted locally when JOC opened for Michael W. Smith in February 1996 at Illinois State University's Redbird Arena, then returned later the same year for a Braden Auditorium show.

For the band's first B-N gig since that show -- a sold-out Second Presbyterian Church concert Saturday night -- Sands won't be part of it at all.

According to Lowell, the current acoustic tour is meant to focus on the core membership and doesn't use the backing band featuring Sands.

However, he's still on call as bass player when needed.

And something more: He helps administrate JOC's Blood Water Mission, an outreach project in Africa dedicated to building clean water wells in areas ravaged by AIDS and poverty.

According to Lowell, the project is a response to a trip the band made to Africa three years ago, where the musicians were instilled with, he says, "a growing urgency and desire to become personally involved."

He estimates the Blood Water Mission has built around 50 wells to date, with "50 or 60" yet to come.

"Aaron was drawn to it when we started getting it off the ground; he's specifically in charge of donor relations and maintaining a relationship with them."

The net result: "We're seeing really powerful changes in these villages and hearing great stories."

a little more situated

2005-10-26T12:18:00.000-05:00

I'm about 3 or 4 weeks into getting a little more situated as donor relations coordinator with Blood:Water Mission. Thanks to some gracious and helpful volunteer staff, we are refining things and streamlining, hopefully bringing more excellence to the organization and moving things along. Tonight we will have a meeting with about 10 of us that now contribute to the day-to-day running of Blood:Water Mission. Since most of us are never in the office at the same time, it is crucial to have these meetings occasionally and see the teamwork in action (as well as plan ahead and refine). I'm thankful for God's faithfulness and miraculous work through this organization...as much as I try to think I'm making things happen, I'm reminded constantly that it is only happening according to God's hand and mercy. What good news!

a little music

2005-10-21T13:08:00.000-05:00

Yesterday and today I've been working on a project for Matt Long, produced by Andrew Osenga and joined by Paul Eckberg in the rhythm section. I have been having so much fun straddling the music and non-profit worlds. I'm thankful for the opportunities as well as the timing...God provides in beautiful and timely ways, and most of the time I'm just too busy or self-focused to realize this. Enjoy your weekend!

already wednesday

2005-10-19T06:37:00.000-05:00

Suddenly it is Wednesday and I'm wondering how another week can move so quickly. We had a great time with our neighborhood group last night, specifically discussing Romans 6. In this passage we are reminded of the glorious truth that believers in Christ are freed from the penalty of sin and the power of sin...though not the presence of sin. Those who are in Christ should no longer live in fear of being accepted, satisfied, successful; for these are the concerns of someone without the hope fo the Gospel. In Christ, one is accepted beyond human acceptance; satisfied beyond comprehension or any experience; successful in a completely different sense, measured in different ways (if able to be measured by man). May today begin more of a reflection and magnification of these truths for the world to see God's glory.

all things

2005-10-12T09:41:00.000-05:00

"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Phil. 4:12-13

What great encouragement as we start this day. But we should not just take the last 10 words out of context and say "Nothing's going to stop me" or focus too much on the self and accomplishments instead of Christ. In the greater scope, it seems Paul is revealing that the only way he can FACE all things is through Christ. Whether in abundance or need, plenty or hunger, we can have hope and actually take steps into this world only by the power of Christ. This gives us the ability to love others well because my hope is the only hope for them, too...on equal ground and as image-bearers of God.

Heading to Dollywood

2005-10-11T05:44:00.000-05:00

We returned from our family trip to Illinois last night. We were so glad we stayed through Monday morning, giving us a true weekend there and making the most of the opportunity. Sam traveled well, and had a great time with his cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents, great-grandparents...and us:)

I'm heading to Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, TN with Little Big Town this morning. We'll play two shows this afternoon and two tomorrow before driving back. I've missed these guys and look forward to playing these songs again. Cheers.

fun

2005-10-06T16:17:00.000-05:00

The trip to NJ was great, even the 16 hour drive there and back. I indulged in many games of Madden 2006 with Steve...though the Titans were definitely faring better in make believe than in real life. Aaron Sands was the star fullback, the threat within the 5 yard line and occasional passing routes along the sideline. Steve Mason led the defense with his cornerback skills, intercepting passes and blitzing from the corner. Of course, Matt Odmark returned as the shortest, largest kicker (5' 5" and 415 lbs.).

The show was so much fun, playing for the 8-10,000 in the arena. Even though they'd heard lots of music throughout the day, they were right there with us the whole set. I miss playing the Jars songs and making spontaneous music with them, leading and following as the night goes on.

The last few days I've been playing with Ken Lewis, Andrew Osenga, Andy Gullahorn, and Matt Stanfield, tracking the new Jill Phillips record. Its been an extreme pleasure to be involved in this, recording amazing songs and spending time with friends. I can't wait to hear the finished product.

where I am

2005-09-29T11:55:00.000-05:00

I find myself standing on a rehearsal stage in Nashville as I type this...preparing to rehearse with Jars for a show Saturday evening in NJ. Its been a couple of months since the last show, and we're rehearsing with Jeremy Lutito, a drummer here in town. We've run in the same circles, but never met until today. Should be fun to play the ol' songs (and a few new ones) and spend some time together. I think we're playing "Waiting", which will be on the Songs From Chronicles of Narnia cd.

I've transitioned out of some of my workload with Blood:Water Mission to help me gradually focus on donor relations more. We now have someone specifically coordinating volunteers at concerts and events, someone working with artists who take BWM on the road with them, and someone who manages the website email address...all things that I've been doing, without the ability to focus on them individually with excellence. I'm excited to be a little more proactive in my work, rather than just keeping up.

The other day I added some upright to a couple of songs that Sandra McCracken has been putting together...a new record to be released by the end of the year, called The Builder and the Architect. The single that is available through her site is one we worked on about a month ago.

Kyle Matthews

2005-09-23T09:50:00.000-05:00

I have the privilege of working with Kyle Matthews again...for a release by early next year. He's such a great writer, with songs recorded by a variety of artists. Mitch Dane is at the production helm, and Andy Hubbard on drums. Its been a tracking whirlwind, working on about 12 songs in 2 days (plus a couple of hours today). Many of the songs are based on piano rather than guitar, which gives a fresh approach and sound compared to most of the projects ongoing in nashvegas.

Time has been moving far too fast. Our neighborhood group started back up this week, and it is so good to be plugging in with a small community again. It definitely helps pull the focus away from self and household...which need to be tended but also can't be the sole center of attention. I'm reminded that there are so many needs within close proximity, as well as countless reasons to give thanks. It is great news that God speaks for the oppressed and homeless, the poor and the widows and orphans...and He not only speaks for them, but remains faithful in caring for them. There is not a greater advocate to have, and we should be image bearers of Christ in this also.

from the latest Blood:Water Mission newsletter

2005-09-19T07:04:00.000-05:00

Blood:Water Mission on the Radio!

We are excited to share with you a recent interview with the members of Jars of Clay as well as John and Avril Thomas, who run the Living Hope Center in Cape Town, South Africa. Go to http://www.bloodwatermission.com/news to hear answers to these questions and more:

How did Jars of Clay start Blood:Water Mission?
What is the Living Hope Community Center? How widespread is the problem? Is the problem too big to solve? How did Jars of Clay connect with Living Hope?
What can we do here in the US?
How is HIV/AIDS intertwined with homelessness and poverty?

Sell items on ebay to benefit Blood:Water Mission
We are now registered with MissionFish to easily donate 10-100% of your proceeds to Blood:Water Mission. Go to http://www.missionfish.org/ to look us up in their index and to learn more information about this great opportunity of involvement.

Recovering red eyes heading to DC

2005-09-12T08:07:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note that the trip to Las Vegas went well, though I definitely have some sleep to catch up with. Thankfully that started last night. Cari and I are headed to DC for the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute Banquet...we are excited to have some time together--in DC of all places:) I'll try to post from there, but it may be pretty busy and difficult to do. Blessings!

showcase

2005-09-08T17:42:00.000-05:00

I'm in the middle of a 45 minute break before playing a showcase for James Tealy at Rocketown here in Nashville. I was part of his record back in january, and he is playing a 30 minute showcase for some record company folks and whoever else shows up. Its good to play with friends Will Sayles, Paul Moak and Ben Shive. I have a long standing joke with Will that I'll never come into his house. I drive by it every day (about 5 minutes from us) and think of him, but have never actually been inside.

We've been doing some shopping, trying to get ready for DC next week. Cari and I will be travelling there for the CCAI dinner (http://www.ccainstitute.org/events). Jars of Clay will be playing a few songs and Blood:Water Mission will be honored for our work in Africa. My parents will be staying with Sam for a few days, which will be a huge adjustment for Cari and I...we haven't had more than a night without him in his 2 years of life! We can't wait...

I'll be heading to Louisville, TN (near Knoxville) tomorrow and Las Vegas on Saturday with Little Big Town. We're part of the Double Down Throwdown in Vegas, and I'm sure things will be hopping in the casinos on a Saturday with all the college football games in action. And I'll be home Sunday morning to catch the first Titans game...hopefully they'll get off to a good start, though many people's expectations are pretty low. I personally think they'll have a decent season as long as they stay healthy.

terrifying and humbling

2005-09-02T12:47:00.000-05:00

The images from the effects of Katrina are terrifying and humbling. They are numbing. They are motivating. Experiencing this wide of expanse of emotions is rare. Over and over again I remind myself that I am of the same flesh and blood as any other human. I am capable of evil beyond my imagination and good beyond my desires. When watching the footage, talking about it with friends, and spending moments in silence, let us remember these things.

home by rule of hurricane

2005-08-29T20:29:00.000-05:00

The wet weekend finished well, though it was a miserable experience with United Airlines. Thankfully we made it to Mass. and back, which was in doubt before we left Nashville due to airline issues. I was with Little Big Town, and we played the Taste of the World festival near Springfield, MA. I have had so much fun with these guys, as the songs are pretty ingrained in my mind and I can just have fun playing the music each show.

We (the family) had a great trip to Chattanooga for a Friday night show with LBT, opening up for Clint Black. It was a nice breath from Nashville life, though we didn't get a chance to do much outside of walking around downtown. The highlight for Sam was that it was Harley weekend, with thousands of bikes filling the streets downtown. He loved watching the people and the action, listening to the pipes fire up and rumble down the road.

I was supposed to rehearse today and fly to Baton Rouge tomorrow with Andrew Osenga and friends for a show...unfortunately the hurricane had other ideas. Hopefully it will work out to play the rescheduled show, though I haven't heard yet. He writes some great songs, and I was really looking forward to this one.

Its Monday night, and I'm in the middle of the draft for my fantasy football league, 12 of us gathered around the draft board pouring over lists and numbers. I randomly selected a list at Football Docs, and picked according to their suggestions. I've used a little of my own thinking, but figured why not try an underground approach (everyone uses ESPN, CBS, Yahoo, and such). We'll see how it plays out throughout the fall.

not forgotten

2005-08-25T11:43:00.000-05:00

No, I haven't forgotten my blog. Unfortunately I have just been very busy, and it has made writing sit closer to the backburner more than I like. Yesterday and today I've been working on a project with friends Matt "Fluffy" Stanfield, Ben Phillips, and Stephen Leiweke. Some groovy pop/rock of sorts. After a full day in the studio, I have a rehearsal with Little Big Town to prep for upcoming shows. Speaking of, tomorrow Cari, Sam and I will drive down to Chattanooga, TN for a day of fun and then an LBT show opening for Clint Black. I'm excited to play some more shows with them, as it is fun to play familiar songs and make them more our (the full band's) own. I'll be in and out of town a lot over the next 2 1/2 weeks, so God's grace and mercy will definitely be evident as everything holds together!

I've been writing another article for Relevant Magazine's 850 newsletter, which I will post in the next day or two. It seems to be a good summary of the past 8-9 months...

busy week

2005-08-20T09:16:00.000-05:00

Well, the weekend is here, and thankfully so! This week's activities included a couple of days in the studio, a full week of Blood:Water Mission work, and somehow squeezing in a fair amount of family time. I worked with Andy Osenga on a project he's producing, and with Mitch Dane producing Andy Dolson (artist from OH). Both were a joy, and opportunities to share the rhythm section with Paul Eckberg.

We are doing some suit shopping over the weekend, trying to avoid the 100+ degree temps as well as take care of a few things on the to-do list. I have some meetings and dinners coming up that call for nicer dress than I have in my closet...so we're trying to see what is out there (and there is plenty) and what will work. It was kind of shocking to see myself in a suit and tie! Of course the price tags can do that just as well.

I was reading in Psalms this morning and I kept seeing the phrase "steadfast love and faithfulness." But today the word before the phrase is what surprised me...MY--as in God's--steadfast love and faithfulness. He is faithful while we are not, and He loves completely while we are all over the map under the controls of selfishness and motivation. What good news indeed!

free gift

2005-08-15T06:27:00.000-05:00

In Romans 5 we see the two adams portrayed...the first Adam had one act that brought death, the second, Jesus Christ, brought life (restored life) through one act. The Christian faith is distinguished from any other religion in that its God took on flesh, an Almighty God taking human form. Other religions may be ashamed of their god(s) for doing this, a disgrace to the throne. But God saw fit to form His creation out of nothing (the greatest artists still have no comprehension of the depth of this claim) and to place Himself in deep relationship with His creation. His is a kingdom of restoration and reconciliation, one that has a destination ahead.

Jesus' life, death, and resurrection have implications for those who have faith and believe. Our sins are placed on Jesus in THE sacrifice, and His righteousness is credited to us as we stand before God. We are much worse off than we imagined, yet we have received the gift of justification beyond our imagination. Over and over again we are told this is a free gift...because we immediately try to take credit for anything good on this earth (or we desire to make it so). We are no longer hopeless, seeking to live up to something we are not and never can be...indeed we have hope and rest in the hope of the claims of the Gospel.

the river of busyness

2005-08-11T06:37:00.000-05:00

I realized that it has been a week since my last entry...nothing wrong with that, of course, though it immediately raises the question internally of "What have I been learning in life?" For here I am able to reflect on events of the day or readings of the week, for my own benefit and perhaps the benefit of others. It is so easy to be carried down the river of busyness and never see beyond the riverwalls on either side.

Imagine floating down the Mississippi, but only seeing the immediate surroundings--the trees, cabins, animals--along the river. Now some may say there's not much to see for most of the way, but think of how many cities of various and distinct cultures lie close to the Mississippi: New Orleans, Minneapolis, St. Louis, Memphis, Davenport, Baton Rouge. Then consider rural life that fills most of the land surrounding the river. Suddenly this mighty river appears very closed and cut-off if you never take in the land and sights beyond.

Without turning into a navel gazer, taking stock and finding context in our lives is crucial. There we discover what we've been learning, we remember what is important, and we cling away from ourselves. We can actually care for the community around us because we are not too caught up in our own lives. And we can bring a deep breath to others, as we experience its contagious benefits.

Judgement and redemption

2005-08-04T20:00:00.000-05:00

"He who scattered Israel will gather him, and will keep him as a shepherd keeps his flock. For the Lord has ransomed Jacob and has redeemed him from hands too strong for him. They shall come and sing aloud on the height of Zion, and they shall be radiant over the goodness of the Lord...their life shall be like a watered garden, and they shall languish no more...I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow. I will feast the soul of the priests with abundance, and my people shall be satisfied with my goodness, declares the Lord." Jeremiah 31:11-14

It does not take long to look at ourselves and the world around us and see brokenness. What hope is there if this proclamation of the Lord is not true? God is not disconnected from His people...He is so connected and passionate that He pays the ransom and makes redemption possible. The response of Israel is more than thanksgiving...it is complete joy and gladness, eyes turned away from self and to the Almighty God.

"Set up road markers for yourself; make yourself guideposts; consider well the highway, the road by which you went. Return, O virgin Israel, return to these your cities." Jeremiah 31:21

Perspective and context are vital components of faith. We are pilgrims, on a journey with a defined destination. Every experience is important in the overall journey, producing a deepening of the Gospel within the heart and a contagious overflowing of the Gospel into the world.

"I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people." Jeremiah 31:33

Just when we think it is up to ourselves to make things right with God and the world, we are humbled again and realize God is the source and His Spirit the mechanism. He changes our hearts and the way we see the world. He calls us, and He brings about faith within us. What more reason to rejoice and sing on the height of Zion, radiant over the goodness of the Lord.

LEAP in London

2005-08-01T06:55:00.000-05:00

We have 5 members of City Church arriving in London today for the LEAP conference...London Evangelism and Prayer conference. They will be posting updates at http://www.citychurchinlondon.blog.com, and please pray for them and check out their reports in this opportunity!

ongoing thoughts on fear

2005-07-28T10:11:00.000-05:00

Romans 3:18 "There is no fear of God before their eyes." This verse hits at the core of one of the most difficult traits of man...one of the most threatening, one of the most humbling, yet one of the most satisfying if overcome. Paul has just given a laundry list of the sins displayed in conduct, conversation, and character. Unfortunately we are often too quick to rationalize our sin and never dig deeper into the heart issues and a true fear of the Lord.

Augustine had a lot to say about love and fear during his lifetime...quite removed from our culture (around the late-4th century) but still profound and helpful. One of our most natural basis of fears is that of loss (of a possession, person, or emotions). As he wrote, "It is beyond doubt that the one cause of fear is either that we will lose what we love after attaining it or that, despite all our hopes, we will never attain it at all." We often limit our picture of fear to this context when hearing/reading the words "fear of the Lord" and wrestling with faith.

Our love for God, as He first loved us, is united with the idea of fearing the Lord. Augustine's thoughts continue: "It is love loving the right thing...it is love no longer scarred by fear or loss but secure in its attainment to God, who does afford happiness and cannot--it may be confident--be taken from it." (Babcock in Augustine Today). The fear of the Lord in our eyes is simultaneously a humbling of ourselves before the Almighty God and a declaration of God's complete love and faithfulness. It is centered on the kingdom to come, not the kingdom on earth. And its hope is in the Gospel and its power.

standing with God

2005-07-20T14:17:00.000-05:00

Last night we hosted our weekly neighborhood group, about 15 people from our church in a smaller group setting. The topic continues to be the book of Romans, specifically the second part of chapter 2. As someone who grew up in the church and has not known life apart from church community, the words hit very close to home. Paul is rebuking the Jews for utilizing their circumcision--outward acts and obedience to the law--as a trump card of faith. The rules have been passed down from generation, and the check-lists were in abundance to say, "well, I didn't murder anyone today and I didn't work on the Sabbath." If sin were that simple to fence in, life would look different here on earth; But the reality is that sin is revealed in the heart and is so much more prevalent in every human (apart from Jesus) than anyone would like to admit.

Christians let down other Christians as well as non-believers. The longer we follow the myth that actions are the only measure of faith, the further we remove ourselves from acknowledging the depth of Jesus' sacrifice and the need in every human for that salvation. The minute I say, "I stand before God righteous because of Jesus and....(I was a good person today, I helped someone today, etc.)" is the minute I deny the full measure of God's grace and love. And if that is happening within, it is magnified before others. A Christian cannot not be hypocritical. One of the biggest steps of genuine faith based on salvation in Christ alone may be to admit that I am a hypocrite...and there is nothing I can do to earn righteous standing before God, apart from the power of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection transforming me.

We do not lower expectations, expecting failure and misery, though. The Gospel gives us the ability to see the limitations of man mixed with the greatness and sovereignty of God toward the benefit of His kingdom on earth and to come. We look ahead even more expectantly, knowing that we are going somewhere and we are not alone in our journey. We are pilgrims with a destination and a place of departure, given a mode of transportation and a community to join us along the way. To the glory of God and for His delight.

delight

2005-07-15T00:27:00.000-05:00

"Thus says the LORD, "Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD." Jer. 9:23-24

The wise, mighty, and rich cannot stand on their own merit...neither can the poor, the weak, the uneducated. There is great encouragement in these words for a believer, for it announces the end of living for the "self." Instead, God is the sole focus, and everything is made complete in Him. My greatest work is to find my source and hope in the One True God. In Him all is made right and reconciliation takes place. In Him wounds are healed and love overflows perfectly.

But let us not miss God's emotion in this: delight. It is not just a job, not a hassle for Him; It is His joy, peace and pleasure; His desire for the glory of His kingdom.

nightmares and dreams in the studio

2005-07-11T14:00:00.000-05:00

Tuesday morning I finished playing upright on a couple of songs for Christopher Williams' upcoming Christmas record. I'm anxious to hear the finished product and had a great time plucking the upright again. Anyways, I was packing up the bass and realized that my phone was rumbling on the side table...a voicemail in waiting. It was 10am and I checked to see whose call I missed. The screen said "4 MISSED CALLS", and as I looked at the missed call list my body froze in disbelief. All 4 were from Joe Porter, who was playing on a session with me the next day--at least I had written down Wednesday. I immediately knew that I had the wrong day and was a no show at a 10-1 session that I'd been looking forward to for weeks.

I called and explained the situation, hurrying across town to pick up my electric gear and back to the same area of town but a different studio. The producer had called to remind others about the session, but had figured I was responsible and would be there. Oops. I was able to arrive and be playing by 11am, and the session went so smoothly I couldn't believe it. Here was my worst nightmare (ok, one of many) and I was hanging in there and actually doing great in the midst of it. The other musicians were long-time rockers in the nashville music business, from Pat Buchanon on electric to Johnny Neel on keys, Gary Burnett on acoustic and Robbie Turner on pedal steel. I smiled with every note I played, locking in and letting the music flow through fingers. God is good, all the time...and all the time, God is good.

pride and shame

2005-07-05T19:48:00.000-05:00

An ear infection managed to enter Sam's body yesterday, giving us a restful day at home for the 4th but preventing us from partaking in fireworks. We have much to be thankful for in our land of the free, regardless of any arguments or criticisms. We are patriotic in our family, proud of our armed forces willing to sacrifice their lives and especially grateful for those who have actually given their lives over the years.

Since we stayed home for the night, we took advantage of a great opportunity to watch a movie...which happened to be Hotel Rwanda. I cannot easily sum up our emotions and thoughts while watching this story unfold. If you have not seen it, don't keep waiting like we did. There are too many times in this world when the world just doesn't care--and years later we look back in shame. Be proud of your country and thankful for so much, but realize that we have sinned and fall very, very short of the glory of God. And go to a website like this to use your important voice to stop these things in the present and future.

Here is a review and discussion questions by Denis Haack from Critique...a precious resource for anyone taking life seriously:

Tension between Hutus and Tutsis can be traced all the way back to the 14 th century. That was when Tutsis migrated into Hutu territory and achieved political dominance over the more numerous Hutus. For the next six centuries the area known today as Rwanda was ruled by a Tutsi mwami (king). In 1890 European colonial powers entered the picture, with first German, and then Belgium rule. In 1959 violence broke out over the selection of a new mwami, displacing 100,000 Tutsis who fled into neighboring countries. Rwanda gained independence from Belgium in 1962, with Hutus (84% of the populace) and Tutsis (15%) living amid intermittent outbreaks of violence resulting in both the loss of lives, and the displacement of thousands. In 1990 the Rwandan Patriotic Front, mainly Tutsi warriors, invaded Rwanda from Uganda, prompting Rwanda to institute political changes, but new violence broke out anyway. In 1993 a new agreement was reached and a small United Nations peacekeeping mission was established. Then in 1994 President Habyarimana of Rwanda, a Hutu, died in a suspicious plane crash, at which the violence exploded into genocide, fanned by radio stations calling on Hutus to kill their Tutsi neighbors.

The numbers are so appalling they are difficult to grasp. Over the course of 100 days, between 800,000 and 1 million women, men, and children were slaughtered—mostly Tutsis and moderate Hutus brutally hacked to death with machetes. Urgent appeals to the world community went unanswered, and the tiny UN force was impotent; the most powerful nations in the world actively resisted allowing the United Nations to take more aggressive action. Eventually the Rwandan Patriotic Front counterattacked, taking control of Rwanda, as more than 2 million Rwandans, mainly Hutus, fled as refugees. Relief agencies estimate that more than 100,000 have since died through disease in the crowded, desperate camps. Something like 300,000 children are now orphaned.

But there is more. During Belgium colonial rule, Christian missionaries flooded into Rwanda. Today, in this most densely populated of all African nations, 94% of the populace claim to be Christians (57% are Roman Catholic, 26% Protestant, & 11% Adventist). The horrific slaughter of 1994 turns out to be Christian against Christian.

In Kigali, the capitol city of Rwanda, there was a precarious oasis in the midst of the slaughter. More than 1,200 Tutsis and moderate Hutus were given sanctuary in the 4-star Hotel des Mille Collines, which usually catered to European travelers (who were evacuated once the violence began). The hotel manager was Paul Rusesabagina, a Hutu whose wife, Tatiana is Tutsi. For three long, horrifying months Paul used his wits to keep them alive, as sounds of the killing echoed outside the hotel wall, and as soldiers came to the hotel demanding access to its helpless inhabitants. Rwanda has long been rife with corruption, and over many years as hotel manager Paul had curried favor with local businessmen and army officers. Now he dug deep into the hotel’s vaults, using bribes and calling in favors to keep the killers at bay. He never intended to be a hero. He simply made a series of choices, moral choices, and in so doing, became a true hero.

Hotel Rwanda tells the story of Paul Rusesabagina, with a superb Don Cheadle in the lead role. From the day he read the script Cheadle wanted to be involved. “It was a story that had to be told,” he says. Director Terry George was careful in how he filmed the horrific violence of the Rwandan genocide. Little of it is actually depicted, because he didn’t want anyone to refuse to see the film on that account. Instead of gore, we join the huddled refugees in the hotel, not seeing the killing that swirls around them, which increases the sense of terror. Hotel Rwanda is a finely crafted film, using 15,000 African extras to recreate the crowded streets and back alleys where so many perished. Two scenes stand out in my memory as particularly effective in this regard. In one scene, one of Paul and Tatiana’s sons disappears at night, to be found later huddled speechless in a hedge. They carry him indoors to discover that though unharmed, he is slippery with blood. We didn’t need to see what he saw to share his horror. The other scene occurs when Paul and an assistant have ventured out of the hotel grounds in a van to find food and supplies. In the dark of early dawn, they drive down an eerily deserted mist-covered road. The van lurches violently as they slowly make their way, until it becomes clear the lurching is caused by more than the usual potholes. They have been driving over bodies, and as the mist begins to clear, the road in both directions is littered with them.

Nick Nolte, as the desperate yet largely helpless head of the UN peacekeepers, plays a frustrated man representing those who could help but who refuse to do so. Paul’s wife, Tatiana is played wonderfully by Sophie Okonedo, who helps us feel not just the fear of those days, but the strength required of a woman who urges her husband to do what is right, even at the risk of their family’s lives. “Paul provides the film’s moral center,” one film reviewer said, “but Tatiana is, in many ways, its heart. Through her, we witness both the horror of seeing one’s family ripped apart and the love that can, against the odds, help keep it intact. Okonedo’s face registers every raw emotion, from terror to steely resolve, helping lend the film its harrowing, almost documentary-like-feeling.”

Early in the film, Jack, a Western reporter played by Joaqun Phoenix, sneaks out of the hotel and in the dangerous streets videotapes glimpses of the horrific killing. Paul is overjoyed when he sees the footage, believing that this will finally bring help from the West. “I think if people see this footage they’ll say ‘Oh, my God, that's horrible,’” Jack replies. “And then they’ll go on eating their dinners.”

The story told in Hotel Rwanda is shaped to some extent by Philip Gourevitch’s book on Rwanda, We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow We will be Killed with Our Families. Christians have a number of reasons to be better informed about the often ignored continent of Africa. The African church is growing there at a rate unknown in Western countries. A large number of the Christian martyrs who died for their faith in the last century were Africans. And we have a responsibility before God to work for justice for Africa, on a whole host of issues, including the AIDS epidemic, Third World debt, famine, and civil violence.

Please see Hotel Rwanda. It’s a fine example of cinematic art, and the story it tells is one we must be sure not to forget. It is both profoundly sad and deeply redemptive, the story of one man who opened his arms when the world turned its back.

Questions for Discussion and Reflection:

How did you respond to Hotel Rwanda? What emotions did you experience as the film progressed? Do you remember where you were when the Rwandan tragedy unfolded? How did you learn of it? What was your response to the news?
In what ways were the techniques of film-making (casting, direction, lighting, script, music, sets, action, cinematography, editing, etc.) used to get the film’s message(s) across, or to make the message plausible or compelling? In what ways were they ineffective or misused?
In many countries like Rwanda, “petty corruption” is so much a part of daily life that workers like hotel managers consider bribes for officials simply one more “business expense.” Can Christians engage in such behavior? Why or why not? Can they use bribes and favors as Paul Rusesabagina did to keep refugees alive in desperate days? Some biblical heroes—Samson, for example—were less than noble in life, though he was used of God (Judges 13:5, 24-25) and noted as a person of faith (Hebrews 11:32). How does this effect the Christian understanding of heroism?
Discuss Paul Rusesabagina’s heroism. How was it manifested? How does it compare to the “Super-heroism” of films like Superman, Batman, or Spiderman? How does it compare to Christian notions of heroism?
One reason that is given for America’s lack of response to the Rwanda genocide is that a year earlier, US forces in Somalia were lured into a trap, a story told in Black Hawk Down. “The Somali debacle of 1992-93 constrained the West’s response to Rwanda’s humanitarian disaster,” Tracy Kuperus of Gordon College writes for the Association for Public Justice, “but there is a another, more telling reason: location, location, location. U.S. foreign policy is directed towards those areas where our security is threatened or our national interests are challenged, and Rwanda is considered non-vital to our national interests.” On what basis should America’s leaders frame U.S. foreign policy priorities?
With whom did you identify in the film? Why? With whom were we meant to identify? Discuss each main character in the film and their significance to the story.
How might you have reacted in Paul Rusesabagina’s position? Though it is impossible to imagine what such horrors are actually like, how might we prepare ourselves to be the sort of person who can make right choices in such terrifying moments?
How does one believe in a good God in a world in which such cruel horrors exist? How would you talk about this to a non-Christian?

at the playground

2005-06-28T14:35:00.000-05:00

My whirlwind trip to NY for the Billy Graham Crusade was quite an experience. Backstage was buzzing from the middle of the afternoon on, as Charles Shumer, Mayor Bloomberg, and Bill and Hillary Clinton arrived. Our set--about 20 minutes--went great, playing for an estimated 70-80,000 people spread throughout the park. Afterwards, Dan introduced Dr. Graham, and the rest of us scurried to the other side of the stage to be seated for his sermon/invitation. We looked up and realized the Clinton's were a couple rows up, and just started laughing at the paradox. Cutting through any politics and such, there was a sweet, genuine love present between them and Dr. Graham. That was a great glimpse of the Gospel--not getting lost in judgement and emotion/passion, but realizing how people have loved well in the midst of great trials and failures to live up to expectations...sin at the bottom line. As they walked off stage, Bill waved to us and said "You guys rocked tonight". A bizarre night indeed.

I'm in the studio (Playground Studios) with Ben Phillips, Jason Bradford, Phil Symonds, Matt Stanfield, and Jimmy Jernigan for a record Jason is producing. We had a full day yesterday as well, and we're trying to finish 11 songs in 2 days. I went to college with Jason, but haven't seen him in 5-6 years...somehow worlds continue to collide. Tomorrow I'll be back at Paul Eckberg's house/studio playing some upright bass on a record for Christopher Williams.

Tonight we are hosting our neighborhood group again, and I'll give a report (promised from before) soon.

a little upright and done

2005-06-23T15:58:00.000-05:00

I finished up studio work for the week, playing the upright bass on a couple of songs today. The artists--Greg Adkins and Kevin Lawson--provided some good songs, and Paul Eckberg and I hopefully added something to them for the better. I hadn't joined Paul in a rhythm section in quite awhile. Its so great to be surrounded by some solid drummers here in town.

Speaking of drummers, I get to play with Joe this weekend as I hit the road (actually the sky) for a day with Jars...we're going to New York City for the Greater New York Billy Graham Crusade. I'm thankful for the opportunity and look forward to giving a report from this one. I'll have a 6am curbside call and 4:45am (EeeksternST) lobby call included, but those are minor technicalities:)

We've hosted our neighborhood group for 2 weeks now, and had a delightful time Tuesday night digging deeper into Romans 1:1-17...more on this soon. For now I must go...

Big small world

2005-06-20T16:34:00.000-05:00

I'm tracking some bass on a couple of projects this week, both produced by good friend and fellow Normalite Andrew Osenga . His solo records are fantastic, and he's been playing with the band Caedmon's Call for the past couple of years. In his spare time he produces and writes songs, among other things. Though we grew up in the same town, about 4 years separate us in age and we didn't really know each other until he came to Nashville...its a big small world after all.

I received some special treatment for Father's Day yesterday, sleeping in an extra hour or so (I'll take what I can) and waking up to a hot breakfast made special for me. We went to the Shelby Street Pedestrian Bridge, which crosses the river from our side of town into the downtown district. Sam loves to look at the train, boats, football stadium, cranes and miscellaneous construction vehicles, and talk to the strangers walking by. The rest of the day he tells everyone about this experience...especially the fire department boat.

Back to playing bass and making music one note at a time.

thinking on Africa

2005-06-16T13:15:00.000-05:00

Jena, the director of Blood:Water Mission, is in the midst of a 5 week trip through Africa (Kenya, Uganda, and South Africa primarily). As I have been reading the frequent updates, I wish I were there. Since that's not the case, I try to think long and hard about the words she shares. I invite you to do the same, as I share one of her latest stories...

"greetings from kenya! my last few days in kisumu were wonderful. i was able to visit all wells already built by blood:water funds and then visit the projected sites for this upcoming year. i spent a considerable amount of time with people who have really been affected by AIDS. i would have hour-long conversations with orphans and widows and people who had the courage to tell me that they were hiv positive.

joseph is 14 years old. he's very quiet and a little unsure of himself. he was 8 years old when his parents died from AIDS. he and his little brother are being taken care of by his 80 year old grandfather. joseph goes and collects water twice in the morning before school and then twice in the evening after school. he cooks and does all the domestic responsibilities to help his ailing grandfather. his grandfather weaves baskets and tries to sell them to support his two grandchildren. if he is lucky, he makes 70 shillings in a day (about 90 cents US). joseph has white scabs all over his arms and legs. they come and go, and he's had these ones for 3 weeks now. I imagine he is being affected by the filthy water that he drinks – or he, too, may be hiv positive. joseph says he is quiet and often spends his time thinking about his parents. i asked him what makes him smile. he said he can't really think of anything - and he doesn't like jokes. older kids beat and punch him often and he wishes that they would stop. i asked joseph what he would do if he were given a lot of money. "i would go to the hospital. and then buy a shirt (his has been worn daily for the last 2 years) and some food." joseph wants to be a doctor, but he will never be able to afford to go on to secondary school.

i followed joseph and his grandfather to their home. it's a hut made from mud mixed with cow dung. the floor is dirt. there is one single bed for four children. so two sleep on the floor and two sleep on the ground. the grandfather sleeps in a separate shelter - much worse than the other. the place is horrible. our dogs in america live better than joseph and his family do here. my heart just broke.

i went with joseph and some other children and women to walk with them to get water. we walked to a small pond that was filled with mud, filth and brown icky stuff. i'm not kidding you, i'm a pretty adventurous person, but i wouldn't have been comfortable to even step foot in the pond -- let alone drink the water. i filled my big yellow bucket, put a cloth on my head and placed the bucket on top. i raised my arms to hold on to the sloshing bucket of disease-filled water and proceeded to walk with the women and children back to the village. It was hard. it helped me appreciate the women and the work that they do...even for something as worthless as dirty water. it just makes the urgency for all of this so much greater when you're here seeing the horrific conditions. the amazing thing is this: with blood:water funds, i imagine we will be able to provide joseph and his community with a new well this july. please pray that money comes through ($3000)."
--jena

May God be glorified for His work in His kingdom yesterday, today and until the end of the age.

Eternal Sunshine

2005-06-13T12:54:00.000-05:00

My travels finished up this morning as I returned by bus from Pittsburgh, PA. And its good to be home! I've had a lot of fun playing live, but I am happy to be back in the routine of family life. I will be heading up to NYC with Jars in a couple of weeks for the Billy Graham crusade in the Bronx--where he started half a century ago. That will be a thrill.

Last night we watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on the bus, which I had not yet seen. It delved into some intense questions of the soul, and was pretty mentally involved throughout. Definitely not a romantic comedy or silly comedy of Jim Carrey's past (for any that were wondering). The movie focused on a narrow field of characters and their struggles with relationships, regret, love, and peace. In any relationship--true relationship, whether friendly or intimate--one must die to the annoyances and frustrations of the other person. There must be an "I care for you even still" present, or else the doors swing open and closed and true, sustaining relationships are never built. I'm anxious to look at the review and group questions on Critique's website as I sift through my perceptions and those of other people.

whirlwind

2005-06-08T09:51:00.000-05:00

I'm home from the whirlwind journey, from Nashville to Birmingham, AL to Lafayette, LA to Nashville (playing for the Grand Ole Opry) to Washington, D.C. and back home...all in 5 days. God is faithful and gracious in it all. I had so much fun with Little Big Town, getting to know the others in the band and playing live shows again. We have a 20 minute slot at the river front park during the Country Music Festival here in town this week, which will be crazy and bring out the crazies for sure. Don't worry, I haven't bought cowboy boots or anything:)

My D.C. experience is still settling in my mind; so much to process while holding on to the excitement of each conversation. We (Blood:Water Mission) are blessed to be surrounded by such a broad range of friends who are tremendous advisors as well. I am overwhelmed and thankful for this.

Please pray for Jena Lee (our director) and Joel Wickre (board member/water specialist) in Africa after reading her brief report from Kenya below. May they be bold in the Gospel and humble in themselves.

Hello from Kisumu, Kenya...

i have only been here but three days and it feels like a month has gone by. the days have been packed with so much, and i have something like five minutes to write an update.

the last two days have been a complete gift - to re-visit the communities that i met in august and to see the change in their communities because clean water has been provided for them by
blood:water's donors. they worked hard as communities to make sure that they were a sustainable and responsible group - and so much has come from it. there was much joy - with dancing and singing and beautiful celebration. it was humbling and overwhelming to realize
that change really can occur when we work together and allow God to move in incredible ways.

this trip has been much harder than the last two. i am actually living in a village with our friend and partner, benjamin. the culture shock has been quite strong despite the fact that i have spent so much time here before. i guess the reality of bugs and going to the bathroom in
a hole and eating really tough meat and no electricity and bathing with a bucket and not much of a mattress... it's all so good as atticus finch has encouraged us all to walk in another man's shoes. i will never be able to truly understand what it means to live in extreme poverty, what it means to lose so many family members to hiv/aids... benjamin's brother died of aids last week. but i can admire their strength and persistence in the midst of the struggle. it's so real. it's so terrible and there's still so much that needs to change here.

i'm being summoned to go. we will be back in the villages today to visit the new sites for proposed bloodwater work. i am well. i am tired, but thankful to be here. god has humbled me in so many ways. thank you for your prayers.

i hope to be back on again soon,

jena

many hats

2005-06-01T19:26:00.000-05:00

The garden/landscaping hat: We took advantage of the long weekend to work in the yard on some major projects. We've been trying to remove many of the weedy vines throughout the yard and especially congregating in the old garden area and along the fence. Some of these weed trees--about the diameter of a quarter in the trunk--have vines reaching several feet deep and many feet to the sides. We've often referenced the scene in the Garden when Adam and Eve ate of the fruit, thus giving us some of these troubles (working the soil). Anyways, we were able to clear the area and level it out enough to put plastic down and solarize the ground over the next couple of months. Supposedly the weeds will be killed and the soil, once tilled, will be ready to grow grass after we seed it this fall. The frustrating yet beautiful thing about gardening and working the soil is that everything is a process and takes planning as well as patience for the fruits/rewards. No wonder it is often used as an image for describing faith.

The Blood:Water Mission hat: I'm working part-time 20 hours/week--donor relations coordinator, officially--and I've had lots of work to accomplish. It seems like I just barely catch up and then get overwhelmed with more things to do. I will be traveling to Washington, D.C. Sunday and Monday for a conference (the One Table Conference), including workshops and some promotional events for BWM. Our director, Jena, is heading to Africa for 3-4 weeks on Saturday to follow up and research in Uganda, Kenya, and South Africa...this is thrilling, yet puts a lot on our plates to maintain the day-to-day while she's gone. Please pray for her and Joel, our resident water expert, as they travel and spend time with our brothers and sisters in Africa.

The bass hat: I played on a Jars song that will be on a soundtrack for "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" last week. This month provides some opportunities that will take me on the road a little bit. I'll jump on a bus to play a couple of shows with Jars this month, in Hershey, PA and in New York City (Billy Graham event). Also, I'm playing 3 out-of-town shows with the country group Little Big Town, including one in Birmingham, AL and one in Lafayette, LA this weekend. We have shows at Country Music Fest (FanFare), the Grand Ole Opry, and the Wild Horse Saloon here in nashville as well. I look forward to the travel, but only in the small doses and will greatly miss home. God has provided these opportunities and I am able to do them without sacrificing the in-town priorities. I also have some days in the studio throughout June and am growing in this regard.

The writing hat: This one's unfortunately taken low priority while other things come together, but I've written another piece for the Relevant 850 email newsletter...I'll post it here when I have a finished draft. I'm finding that reading and writing go hand in hand, so I'm trying to get more reading in as well now that transition seems to be settling down. My unusual travel time this month will hopefully help in this regard.

Ok, there are other hats, but I'll stop here for now. Blessings, grace and peace to the glory of God.

called to belong

2005-05-24T09:42:00.000-05:00

"Called to belong to Christ...loved by God...called to be saints": these words of the apostle Paul speak loudly about identity and purpose. Most of the time I get lost in my own world, pursuing my own tangents and ideas (sometimes getting it right and other times wrong). The weight is on me to find perfection, and I always fall short.
But these 3 phrases from a brief passage of his letter to Rome (the nations) call for a completely different path. My identity is in Christ, and the only way I can stand before Him holy, as a saint, is through His work--the life, death and resurrection of Christ. I love because I have been loved. I do not fear because fear itself has been conquered through Christ. I am not only freed from sin, but freed to extend this love to the world around me as well. The Gospel values me as an individual, but cannot get stuck just looking at me...I am an instrument in the outward expansion of His kingdom.

God's faithfulness

2005-05-18T06:30:00.000-05:00

"As for me, my prayer is to you, O LORD. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness...answer me, O LORD, for your steadfast love is good; according to your abundant mercy, turn to me." (from the 69th Psalm)
In the midst of deep suffering and despair, David found hope with these words. He saw the way other people looked at him and talked of him, calling him a fool; yet he went to the Lord and spoke truth into his heart and mind. God's timing is outside of our understanding. His ways are not ours, and His end is hard for us to consistently believe--but they are what we are made for! We must patiently speak truth into our own hearts, believing the Gospel over and over again. God is abundant in steadfast love and faithfulness, especially when we are not.

steadfast love and faithfulness

2005-05-12T20:13:00.000-05:00

These two ideas/fruits are found over and over again throughout God's Word. Particularly in the Psalms (though they bear similarity to the Epistle's "grace and peace"), they are used to describe God's character. Unless we wrap our arms--at least open them up--around these traits, we cannot know God. He IS faithfulness. He keeps His promises and covenants. He cannot be unfaithful. Likewise He is steadfast love...not temporary love or floundering love, but hard-core, purposeful love. Love that never fails because it is perfect. Love as a means and an end. These words humble any sensible man, yet they are also the very words of hope to cling to with every breath we take.

hope and expectations

2005-05-09T14:57:00.000-05:00

As we prepare for a family trip to Iowa for a wedding, I recall a discussion with some other fellas about hope and expectations...which tie into faith in the end. Because of the fall of man in the garden of Eden, we face the reality of poor expectations. We set ourselves up for disappointment, because our hearts seek fulfillment and we try to find it in the things of this world as well as the truth of the Gospel (rather than solely being united in God's will and desires).
With the chaos of family coming together from around the nation for this great occasion, we have 2 options: to approach the week trying to keep everything and everyone together (which may keep "peace", but also leads to inner frustration, gossip, pent up emotions) , or to seek joy and delight in our time together even if it means some disagreements and not always getting along. After all, as family, we are united by blood and have commitment to each other beyond just getting along...why not embrace each other in that truth and seek to bring God's kingdom to bear--even in part--by truly loving each other well.
Now things aren't a disaster...in fact, it is a beautiful season in the family. But my expectations affect the way I treat others and my overall countenance, my confidence exhibited in my faith. Real hope is built on expectations of God's kingdom to come, not the one on earth. Faith is the certainty of what we hope for, the conviction of what we cannot see. I trust that God will do miracles and show His mercy this week as He has for centuries and promises to continue to do in the future; For His glory, not mine.

rebellion

2005-05-05T06:40:00.000-05:00

Rebellion is one of the many things our hearts run to instinctively. It is often a companion to selfishness, pride, and fear; an effect or consequence related to them. I easily narrow my view of rebellion to a plotting and pursuit of disobedience. But I rarely see it as plainly as revealed to the Israelites...the lareger picture is that rebellion can only reside where the hope and truth in the Gospel is not being proclaimed. Rebellion is stirred as doubts and fears are promoted and grow. Therefore the only defense is reallyintended to be offense--that we are so busy proclaiming the Word of God by mouth and in action that we have no time or need to rebel. This is our hearts' true desire, the thing we are made for, and may it be so today and tomorrow more than yesterday.